Most of the time when I write about something, it’s because I have some wonderful information that I can’t wait to share with anyone who will listen. Or I’ve had an experience that I think someone will care about. Well, today, it’s all about venting. A rant. So, buckle your seatbelt and here we go.
The other day, I found myself in the center of what I am calling a shitstorm. As with a rainstorm, lots of stuff was raining down around me, but it wasn’t rain. It started one evening as I was reaching up to a kitchen cupboard to grab a jar of cheese sauce. The stuff you put away for just you, when the kid is in bed, finally asleep. I had the tortilla chips close at hand and went for the cheese sauce. What happened next, completely blew my mind. The glass jar slipped from my hand and landed on my stove top. With an exclamation of “Crap!” or something similar, I noticed shards of glass.
Thinking that the jar had broken, I tried to console myself with, “Well, my waist doesn’t need this stuff anyway.” After seeing that the jar was not broken, or cracked, or chipped, I stared in horror at my broken ceramic cooktop. OMG!!! I could not have broken it! But I did! S.O.B. and a stream of other poetic words that would have made a sailor blush, came out of my mouth. My $500+ cooktop was now officially broken.
The next morning, after finally feeling ok about the thought of a new cooktop- thoughts of “well, the new ones probably boil water faster,” and “this one served us well for 11 years”- the little man and I trundled off to Sears. Several hundred dollars
lighter later, we went home, where I called my mom to say hi and see if they had a new e-mail address (because of having a new internet provider).
Ka-wham! News of a new health crisis with my dad. He’s in excruciating pain to the point that he’s moaning. Shit! A doctor had come to the house and prescribed codeine. Hmmm I thought, wonder if that’s going to do anything for a man who has to take a cocktail of very strong pain killers every day, anyway. I doubt it. So, I asked Mom if she had plans to get Dad to a hospital within a reasonable amount of time if the pain wasn’t controlled. Well, yes. By the next morning, that would likely be the thing to do. (I knew in that moment that that would be happening). Dad has been living with cancer for about 23 years. During that time it has spread, but pretty slowly. For the last handful of years, with bone cancer slowly eating away at his back, chronic pain has been managed.
So, now my mind was preoccupied with what was putting Dad into so much pain all of a sudden. Because my little man was wanting a friend to come over (and I thought it would be a good idea to keep him occupied), I called my girlfriend (mother to said friend). When I told her about Dad’s health crisis, she kindly offered to have my little man play at their house, and spend the night. What a gracious and fantastic offer that I can not refuse! Or so I thought.
I was trying to watch an event online that was being streamed live. Well, there were issues such that between their attempting to send out the video and my computer acting up, I got completely fed up and decided to do something else. In fact, I was sleepy and thought with glee that I could actually go to bed and read, right then and there. What a holiday!! No husband to chat with; no kid to deal with; just me, the fish and a quiet house. Yes! That was the plan… until the phone rang.
Hmmm. That’s odd. It’s 8:30pm and the call was from my girlfriend’s house. I wondered if the little man was having second thoughts about staying over (he’s never stayed the night there). To my surprise, it was my girlfriend’s husband on the line. “There’s some shit going down. You might want to come and get your little man.” I said ok, grabbed my keys and ran out the door- not even turning out a single light. My heart was pounding and my mind was racing with scenarios about what could be going on. When I got to the house, my girlfriend had left, my son was freaked out by the drunken fight he had just witnessed, and his buddy was sitting, crying. Holy shit! What happened?? (a stupid, drunk argument that involved misunderstandings for sure).
I took the freaked out little man home, to find my drunk girlfriend there. I didn’t want her to continue to drive drunk, so I let her in. Several hours later of listening to drunken ranting, raving, and crying- in addition to trying to get my very sensitive, totally freaked out kid to sleep- I went to bed… at almost 2am… with my girlfriend on the sofa. Oh yeah, about 3 days before, my husband had told a friend that, “Sure your wife and kid can come and visit and spend the night (as they pass by the area), even though I’m on night shift and will have all of about 2 hours to see you. The wife can deal with it all
with no stove to cook on and very little sleep.” This was the next day’s forecast: entertaining a woman and her teenage son that I had met once, 1 1/2 years ago for a few hours.
In the morning when I checked in with Mom, the ambulance was there, picking up Dad to take him to the local hospital. My girlfriend had left before I woke up, so I didn’t even get to have the come to Jesus talk with her that I wanted to have. And I had company coming at 11am. Finally, just before 10am, I dragged my butt into the shower. About 10 minutes later, as I stood naked in the bathroom, holding my towel, our company arrived… an hour early. Crap! I expected to see 2 people, but 5 people climbed out of the car. What tha?? Shit! Our guests were with some family members who live a few hours north of us. As it worked out, they soon took off to go shopping, leaving the teenager with us for just a few hours. When they returned to collect the boy, they visited with my husband for about 20 minutes, and no guests stayed the night. While we had the teenager, my son and I took him downtown for lunch, and showed him a local river side park.
So that this is not just a total venting rant, I have to share something cool that happened. It was while we were walking around this park. I was looking at the grass, trees, blue sky, and white puffy clouds, and realized that with all the crap that had been swirling around me over the past 36 hours, in that moment I was calm. I felt an amazing (and surprising) sense of peace. The new stove top was on order. Dad was in a hospital being taken care of. My drunk girlfriend was back at her house; and I had cleaned out the low energies she had left in my son, myself, and my house. And I didn’t have to worry about anyone staying for dinner or the night. In that moment, it became crystal clear how much I have changed over the past year, because of the energy work I’ve experienced.
THAT is what energy work can do for a person. Bring you peace and calm where there used to be tension, anxiety, anger, bitterness, and fear. Am I completely free from these feelings? Of course not. But I don’t live them as much as I used to. I do visit them from time to time. I am still concerned about Dad, now knowing that the pain is from a new tumor on another part of his back. I still want to have that come to Jesus talk with my girlfriend. But I am not stuck in negativity. These days, I only visit there.