I have learned that going through tough times in life are when we grow as a person. And when we experience really tough times, and are able to rise to the occasion and make it through, those are times we learn a lot. Well, right now I am learning and growing; more than I expected or particularly wanted. And what I have found, is that the more I remember to stay connected to the world beyond the physical, the more fluidly things flow. The more I ask for help- from this world, and from the world beyond- and pay attention, the more answers come my way.
A few weeks ago, I received a phone call telling me that my mother was in the hospital. Before the phone rang, what was foremost on my mind was the first day of the school year, and the difficulty my son was having with the immanent end of summer break. After the phone call, all I could think about was the real possibility of losing both of my parents. You see, my father has not been well, but has been fighting and hanging on for the sake of my mother. If my mother were to die, Dad would not be far behind.
I put my life as wife and mother on hold, to fulfill the duties of a daughter. One of my brothers was able to come, too, but only for the Labor Day weekend. After being overwhelmed by the “what if’s” and the “how do I do this’s,” I asked my guides and angels to please send me guidance and to make it loud and clear so I wouldn’t miss it.
What began to happen has been a little bit amazing to me. Sage advice and calming wisdom first came in the form of a phone call to an older and wiser cousin. Everyone else I had spoken with all said the same well-meaning thing, “If there is anything I can do, please let me know.” Well, having never dealt with this situation, I didn’t even know what questions to ask. But, one of my cousins told me just what I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it. After that call, guidance came from expected and from unexpected sources. It’s been rolling in. And for that, I am grateful.
I now know what questions to ask, what people to contact, and what to do, if one or both of my parents are hospitalized or incapacitated again. Terms like health care proxy, living will, and advanced directives, are no longer a foreign language for me. If my folks become gravely ill and the medical community needs to know how to treat them, I can step in and tell them my parents’ wishes. I also know which parent wants to stay in their house until they take their last breath, and which one would like to downsize to something smaller, with less to take care of. And a plan has been discussed regarding handling their finances on their behalf, should it become necessary.
The universe sent me a challenge to learn and figure out something I’ve never dealt with before- adding the twist of tearing at me emotionally by having this challenge involve not one, but both of my parents. Staying grounded and centered has been so very important for my own personal well-being during this time. And reaching out to those that are with me, those that I can see and speak with, as well as those that I take on faith are with me, has been invaluable. I feel that I have been surrounded by lots of love and people with the best of intentions. And by staying calm and grounded, I have been able so sift through mountains of information and offered suggestions, to connect with solutions that are the best for my parents (and for me). I will be able to return to my life as wife and mother, knowing that my parents are in good hands, no matter what happens to their health as they continue the last years of this life experience.