A new me? Did I have a sex change operation or change my name and identity? No. But I am changed inside. All the energy therapy and healing work on the energetic level that I have been doing has truly changed me. How can I say this? I feel different. I am much more calm and peaceful in general.
I see the world differently. When something happens, I look at the bigger picture of why. I look at what life lesson could be in play for me or for others. And the biggie is something I have been chasing after, been working on, for years.
My emotional need for, my emotional attachment to, my addiction, or whatever you call it- to food… is g-o-n-e! I’ll let you in on something I learned about my relationship with food. I needed to protect myself, both physically and psychic-ly by making myself physically larger. And these beliefs were instilled in me when I was very young- along with an assortment of other beliefs that were not good and not true.
I mistakenly thought that I could protect my sensitive, clairsentient self, by being big, and thus, having a bigger aura. What I have learned, is that a person can stretch out their aura or bring it in tight, at will. And I have learned about psychic protection- to protect myself from absorbing other people’s negativity or craziness.
I would react to just about every emotional upheaval by turning to food. No amount of willpower would work for more than a few minutes. And diets and gastric bypass surgery are not a long-term solution when your subconscious beliefs and programming are having you turn to food, as mine were. Your subconscious is so much more powerful than your conscious mind, that if you try to fight it, you will lose EVERY TIME! (I so wish Carnie Wilson would “get” this.)
Doing the work at the levels outside of my physical body: the energetic and spiritual levels, has made all the difference. About 7 weeks ago, I listened to that little voice in the back of my head (my intuition) and switched doctors. My new doctor informed me that I am pre-diabetic. And just this past week, after taking a food sensitivity test, I have learned that my body is very sensitive to dairy products. Previously, just thinking about not being able to eat sweets or dairy would have sent me into a tailspin, that would have ended in something like an ice cream sundae or three.
But, as I recently spent a month dealing with some of the biggest stress of my life, I found it strangely easy to say, “No thanks,” to ice cream, cookies, cupcakes, doughnuts, candy, and sugar in general. Me, the former sugar fiend, can now pass on it. And taking dairy out of my life is still a bit of an adjustment because it’s just been a week. But I’m not going crazy, ripping my hair out. I am actually ok to not eat butter, ice cream, cottage cheese, all cheeses (which I do love), my whey based protein powder, milk, a lot of breads and other products that have milk or butter in them. It is so weird!!
It’s still an adjustment, learning to reach for this instead of that, for a snack. And I am eating much less in general (and yes, the weight is coming off). I love feeling my stomach growl in hunger for a change. Every now and then I think, “So this is what it feels like to have a healthy relationship with food.” Too cool!
I also want to mention that my new doctor finally took me seriously when I complained about being so tired all the time. My thyroid has been sluggish for years, but my old doctor kept blowing it off (test results of low normal were ok in her book). Not any more! I am now on medicine to support my thyroid, and I haven’t felt this good in a very long time. I am actually productive throughout my day, not just during the first few hours. Yahoooo!!
From what I have learned about energy work, I have no doubt that with continued weight loss and continued energy work (including giving myself Reiki), my pancreas will become happy once again, and I won’t be at risk of developing diabetes. Between my new relationship with food and a happy thyroid, I can feel the light, healthy, energetic me blossoming.