My Son, My Teacher

Lately, I have learned that we choose to come into physical form (life) in order to learn life lessons. And that we pre-arrange to learn them with a group of people who hang with us from lifetime to lifetime: our soul group. This may come as a surprise, but I lived a life a long time ago, in which my son was my mother, and I was his son. I was high functioning autistic, and had a thing for bugs. My mother and I got along quite well in that lifetime, with she, encouraging my love for and interest in bugs. In this current lifetime, my son and I get along quite famously; and I fully support his obsession interest in trains and all things transportation.

Little Man loves trains!

So, I have figured out a few reasons why we decided that I would be his mom this time around. And other than being mother detective, learning to figure him out- as much as I am here for him, he is here for me; for me to learn some lessons.

One lesson that was revealed to me during a hypnosis session almost two years ago, is that we each have our own paths to walk through our life. Our own lessons to learn. At the time, my son was having a very difficult time with school, and he would cry about it every day. I tried this and that and everything I could think of, so school wasn’t such a torturous affair for him every day. Then, along came the revelation during my hypnosis session. (Things that came up during hypnosis sessions had direct relevance to things that were going on in my life at the time). I finally truly understood, down to my core, that there were things that my son had to learn on his own.

He had to deal with expectations and the format of how learning is taught in our school system. That was something that I could support him in, but I could not do for him. It was more than difficult for me, as mom, to see my son cry about school every single day. I learned a few more things about him, and made a few changes so that he was not totally and completely overwhelmed. But in the end, he had to do the work.

Learning this lesson has also taught me to be able to step back from struggles of friends and family. I know that I can help somewhat, if the person asks. But I can not take away their struggle, nor learn their lesson for them. It will be there for them until they “get it.” During this process, I am learning where I end, where my responsibilities stop, and where others’ begin. People like me who feel deep empathy for others, need to know where these boundaries are.

The moral of this story is, if you have someone in your life that you care deeply about, and you want to rescue them from their pain and struggle, it is incumbent upon you to recognize and respect their lesson. Is it easy? Absolutely not. But, struggles and difficulties are in our lives as opportunities to learn: patience, forgiveness, compassion, love, self-empowerment and more. To rise above and go beyond. Yes, be there for them, but be aware enough to let them do their work.

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About mariner2mother

I'm a mother of a very spirited 14 year old son, and a former merchant ship's deck officer. To feed my creative side I take photos and make a very occasional batch of soap. I am also Reiki attuned and am a student of Energy Healing, having used several healing modalities to work on myself and my family.
This entry was posted in Holistic Healing, Hypnosis, Spirituality, The Voyage and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to My Son, My Teacher

  1. Karen says:

    A lesson I am learning also! I hope things go smoothly for you with this lesson. Hugs to you, my friend!

  2. Hugs back to you as well. I find that the more I care about a person, the more challenging this lesson.

  3. Arindam says:

    I am going to remember this post & the lesson i learned from this one, for a long time. You have written it so beautifully. Now onward, “I will also try to learn, where I have to end, where my responsibilities will stop, and where others’ are gong to begin.” A really thought provoking post.
    Thank you for this post. 🙂

    • Thank you Arindam. I have learned that I am very sensitive to other people’s emotions. As a child, I picked up everyone’s emotions, and took them on as mine, unknowingly. As an adult, I see why I chose this lesson to learn (and made it more challenging by being so sensitive). Learning boundaries can be life changing for so many people. I wish you well in all your lessons’ work.

  4. How true this lesson is, Sue. I am so happy to hear you and your son are coming to some sort of acceptance. And to realize he’s here to help you and teach you as much as you are to help him.

    My younger brother is going through a tremendously difficult time right now (divorce, depression, anxiety) and I love him dearly, but he lives too far away for me to help him. I had a psychic warn me years ago about his ordeal and she said there is really nothing I can do to ease his predicament, he’ll have to figure it out on his own. She said that it is necessary for his soul’s development to survive this and get stronger by himself. It is so hard for me to acknowledge this, but I try. I’m there for him when he needs to vent, but I realize we all have our own individual crisis to endure on our own.

  5. Lenore Diane says:

    The lesson you learned is – in my opinion – one of the hardest lessons in life. I also believe it is the lesson we need to be reminded of time and time again.
    Excellent post!

  6. Arindam says:

    I passed an award called “Candle Lighter Award” to your blog, to say thank you for this wonderful post. 🙂

  7. janonlife says:

    Oh I needed to read this post so much! Thank you. It’s absolutely true and yes – ‘difficult’ doesn’t come close.
    I’ve supported, empathised and looked on helplessly as someone I love deeply and have shared many other lives with has gone through unimaginable pain, loss, depression and addictions. When he was little I could cuddle and comfort him. Now he’s a young man and determined (rightly so) to deal with his difficulties alone, I can only send love and support, and let him know I’ll always be there.
    I too am going to save this post and look back to it for comfort.

    • Jan, I am so sorry you have this difficulty. It can so very hard. But, as I look around in life, I see with more and more ease, where I can help, and where I need to let go. When this involves a very close friend or family member, the lesson is the most challenging. And it only gets easier as the one who struggles evolves and takes the steps to improve. As I read this post again, I see that it’s one of my favorites.

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