I’ve been taking a class, where we are learning how to communicate with spirit. The other day, we were learning how to communicate with our Spirit Guides. For those who don’t know, when we are born, we have beings not in physical form, who are with us, to help and guide us along our way in life. Some of these beings are called Spirit Guides. They may have lived a physical life at one time, or not. And they are here for you. We have several guides that can help us. We may have a primary one or two, who stay with us for our entire lives; and then other ones can pop in as needed, for shorter periods of time, while you’re working on a particular lesson. An author might have a guide who comes in to assist with writing. And a composer may have a guide who comes in when they are writing music. One thing about them though, is that you have to ask for their help. They won’t stick their nose into your business, uninvited.
So there I was, sitting with my eyes closed, listening to my teacher, as she ran us through a guided meditation. That’s fancy talk for… picture yourself on a deserted sandy beach, with warm winds blowing past your face. Did you “see” the sandy beach? Did you feel the sun warming you? Did you sense the warm breeze? It’s that simple. Guided mediation is when you listen to what’s being told and you use your imagination to go there.
She asked us to call forward one of our guides. I cheated a little bit. I have done some work with my teacher in private, and one of my guides had come to help out. She had described him to me and told me his name. Armed with this information, I decided to call forth my Healing Guide, Archer. He was described to me as looking like Robin Hood, dressed all in green, with a bow and arrow. From that description, I had an image of him in my mind, like Robin Hood of the movies back in the 30’s. And for some reason, I guess because he’s with me only in spirit, I figured he was little, like an elf or sprite. Here’s where it got interesting.
I was sitting, eyes closed, asking Archer to come forward, not really expecting anything, and soon enough, I sensed a large man in front of me. The reason I realized this was not coming from my imagination, was his size. He was BIG! We’re talking, Hulk Hogan big. Our teacher had us ask our guide a series of questions, including how long they had been with us. In a nano second I got, “Forever.” Cool! Then I realized how deep his voice was. I didn’t imagine him with such a deep voice. Wow! I wasn’t making this up. In my mind, I told Archer that I wanted to be able to hear him audibly, in my head. Some people can do this.
In receiving my request, an answer immediately came back loud and clear: trust. The pictures and knowings, hearing and feelings I have been picking up are subtle. So subtle that I often ask myself, am I just making this up? Is it just my imagination? He told me to trust that what I think is my intuition speaking to me, is indeed, that.
Earlier in class that morning, one exercise had us see ourselves sitting on our knee, then on a shoulder, then in our heart and finally in our head. When I put myself in my heart, for some strange reason, I became emotional. Fast forward to the exercise with Archer. As soon as I heard- trust- I knew in a moment that what I had discovered in my heart was some old issue about not trusting myself. Then, Archer went behind me, said that he had my back, and went to work clearing that old mistrust out of my heart.
I have to trust myself. For so long, I was made to think I was wrong, and I learned to not trust my instinct, to not trust my intuition. When people who are older than you,
fuck mess with your head from the time you are old enough to suckle, you learn to not trust yourself, your intuition. Being in a place of not trusting yourself is a bad place to be.
Fortunately, with regards to trusting myself, I’m getting better and better at it. Once in a while, someone may try to dupe or bamboozle me. But I check in with my left (rational) and right (intuitive) brains and know what’s true and right. Then I usually get pissed for a little while. Partly at myself for not trusting me; and partly at them for being an idiot. When I’m specifically practicing using my intuition, the more I trust myself, the more good information I get. And by the time I no longer doubt myself when I’m communicating with spirit, that’s probably when I’ll start to hear spirit loud and clear in my mind’s ear.