Once again, I am underwhelmed by how our medical system handles the mentally ill. Treat ’em and street ’em, almost. If you think that someone who is delusional and paranoid would be kept in a hospital until they have a firm grasp on reality, you would be wrong.
Mom had a complete psychotic break a few weeks ago. She is still delusional, is confused, and is paranoid that her medication is poisoning her. The day she will be discharged will be exactly 4 weeks from the day she was admitted. Because she doesn’t pose a danger to herself (by whose definition, I’m not sure), and isn’t a danger to other people, she’s being sent home in 2 days.
She is nowhere near ready to be on her own. Fortunately, she will be able to have caregivers in her home 24/7 until she regains a firm grip on reality. The challenging part, as one of her children, is getting her to understand that she can not be on her own. When a person is delusional, they have no idea that there is anything wrong with them. She has to understand that she won’t be able to drive for a while. And for the first time in her life, she won’t be dispensing her own medications. And she won’t be able to mess around with her caregivers schedule.
We, the children, are now having to assume the adult role. And this is on top of dealing with old unprocessed emotions that have been surfacing over the past 2 months. We each have our memories of when we were teenagers and it took many months of craziness before Mom was hospitalized for the first time. That was a bit of hell, that we’re all still working out.
As adults, we are dealing with this all in different ways. I am using a variety of healing modalities, including Reiki, receiving high frequency energy, running my energies and using a few types of meditation. In doing this work, I am clearing my body of any old blocks and trapped emotions that could contribute to or cause physical illness down the road. A recent effect of all this work is staying calm in the face of what, just a month or so ago, totally freaked me out. I have a new-found sense of peace and am able to relinquish to the universe, whatever happens when Mom gets home.
This is what people talk about when they use difficult times to grow. For some, it might be dealing with something like an injury or illness. In my case, my mom’s going crazy has served to stir up a lot of old stuff in me, and I am working on it and getting it gone (yes, with some help). Now I understand it when people refer to some of the hardest times in their lives as a blessing. It’s not that going through a crap load of hard stuff is fun- heck no. But being able to handle it and come out the other side in a better place, is the challenge to which I have been rising.