In the path of healing, there comes a point, or perhaps several, where it is appropriate to say goodbye to things that no longer serve me well. These things take many forms; be they habits, reactions, attitudes, relationships, or a variety of energetic exchanges.
Everyone has things they do that they don’t like, or relationships that are a challenge. The purpose of having these things in our life, is to learn from them. For me, I recently learned that I have been working on learning a lesson over the course of many lifetimes. I need to work past the thought, idea, or belief that existence equals pain. I have had a profound fear of existing, for lifetimes. In spiritual lingo, I want to transmute the fear, to move it completely and entirely out of my body and soul. When this happens, positive physical and emotional changes will happen.
When a soul decides that it wants to learn the lesson that life is painful and unsafe, the first thing it does is set up life situations, so a person is surrounded by and is living in pain and fear, in some way (or several ways). A situation such as this can look like having an abusive home life. The abuse can hit you at any time, when you least expect it, so you are always on guard. It doesn’t really matter if the abuse is physical, verbal or sexual, as long as it puts you into a state of chronic fear and uncertainty. Of course, being sexually abused, adds the additional layer of shame. All abuse gives you a good dose of lower than low self-esteem. The abuser could look like a parent, sibling, relative, close friend, or someone you trust. They could be controlling of you, or just lash out at you whenever they need a whipping post. The goal is to make sure you know that just being alive equals a painful existence.
I have not experienced all of these situations during this lifetime, but after working with a wonderful intuitive (pc word for psychic), I know that I have lived lives where I have experienced all of these situations and more. So, now that I see the bigger picture of why certain situations in my life have been the way they have been, I am beginning to understand it all. I have been learning the lesson.
I do know, especially as an adult, that existence by definition most certainly does not have to equal pain. I am realizing that I have had deep-seated feelings of not feeling safe, because of all of this. And my goal now is to let go of old, lower thought forms that I no longer need or want.
Part of the process is to discover the belief at the center of things. In this case, existence equals pain. Looking at my life today, I can now see how and where this belief is impacting things in ways that I don’t want. Then, I need to look back to understand how the belief was created, and what purpose it served. After all, when we keep something around, it’s because it is serving a purpose.
As a child, when your world is filled with unpredictable pain that is inflicted on you in some way, fear protects you. Being aware of a subtle change in a person’s mood or tone of voice becomes the alarm bell. Fear puts you on alert in an attempt to keep you safe. As an adult, my life is much different. I am safe. I no longer need that same alarm bell. The lingering fearful feelings of being unsafe are not helpful to me anymore.
After learning about and understanding the why of it all: protecting me when I was a child, I am now taking steps to release, with love and gratitude, the belief that existence equals pain. It is a process, and I have no idea how much time it will take But I get it now. As part of the process, I thank you, belief, for being here for me when I needed you. You served me well for a while; served a purpose. But, I no longer need you. You don’t serve me well any longer. You may now go.