The other day, I was thinking about how now and then, I get a few numb fingers in a hand or even a completely numb hand when I’m sleeping. Boy, is it hard to shut off the alarm clock when you can’t feel it! I ended up using my mouth that morning.
What’s going on is, a nerve in my neck is getting pinched, and is affecting my hands. Seeing my chiropractor, getting massages, and doing energy work on it, is helping to improve it all.
And then I thought of my Mom, who, a little over a year ago, fell in her house and was down on the floor for 2 days. Since then, she’s had trouble with some of the fingers on her left hand being numb. After seeing orthopedic doctors and doing some physical therapy (and this has been going on for 15 months), she still has 2 numb fingers. I began to wonder if her problem might be coming from her neck (like mine).
So, I called her. I told her about my neck and fingers and asked her if anyone had done anything about her neck. No. She tells me the issue is in her elbow not her neck. Ok. Well… it’s been 15 months and it’s still not better. Maybe, just maybe, the neck might be involved. No, she tells me. It’s the elbow. She does not see chiropractors. She does not do energy work. I can hear between the lines that she doesn’t want my advice. After all, I didn’t go to medical school. All I do is listen to my intuition.
With this being the first Christmas that Mom will be a widow, I thought I’d go visit her for a week or 10 days. But, due to cost and schedules, it’s better for me to go in January. So, my husband got some time off in mid-January, in order to be home with our son. I called Mom to tell her my plans. Ok, she says. She asked me if I had a calendar. Yes. How about if I fly out Friday, January 18 and then return Monday. No, Monday is a holiday. How about if you fly back on Tuesday January 22? Ok, I said, quickly jotting down the dates.
After I hung up, I looked at the dates again. Wait! She must have made a mistake. Those dates would give me 3 days out there, across country, sandwiched between 2 days of travel. She must have been off a week. I’ll check with her again.
The next day I called again to re-confirm the dates. There was no mistake. She only wants me there for a few days. Once again, I can hear between the lines. Reeeee- jected!
I’m not going. There’s a 3 day weekend in January that my husband now has off. I’m going to take my kid and my hubby and go away for a fun 3 day weekend.
I used to have numbness– it was carpel tunnel syndrome. I used splints for a while for sleeping which alleviated the pain, but eventually had both hands done– it’s worth it. Very little pain and quick rehab.
About 3 or 4 years ago, Mom was going to have carpel tunnel surgery. She asked me to come and stay for a week with her and my Dad (who was sick at the time) so I could help her out. 48 hrs. before my flight (I had cleared my life for this, and my husband had, too), she cancelled her surgery and never had it. She said it was better, having had a cortisone shot. So, who knows what the real issue is. Apparently her amazing ortho doctors don’t.
Do I hear “and the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon?” Love it when my folks are too busy with their lives to somehow fit us in. What is their generation coming to 😉
Unfortunately, it’s not that she’s too busy. She’s bipolar, is slowly coming out of a very deep depression, and for a variety of other reasons, doesn’t want me around. Since Dad died, I am the one of the three children who has to play the heavy with Mom- making the unpopular decisions for her own good. Our relationship was never fabulous, and with Dad gone, it seems to be even less so.
Ugh. Just caught up on your reply. It sucks having to play the heavy. And if you have a tenuous relationship anyway…. I think it’s good that you’re making a positive choice for you and your family. It sucks to feel rejected, even with the extra circumstances, but you can live by your own schedule and embrace what is right for you.
I’m sorry; I can hear the hurt in your words but … I think you’re spot on to plan something fun for the three of you to look forward to and enjoy.
Thanks MJ. Yes, we’ll go off and have fun, just me and my guys.
and I hope you get some relief for your hand/arm/neck. I had a pinched nerve years ago (post car accident) and can relate to that radiating feeling and pain/tingling. Quite annoying really. I had surgery – a fusion – and the only thing that helps me manage it (stiffness esp) 25+ years later is chiropractic care & massage. Bests!
Thanks. It’s not bad except when I sleep on my left side- that’s when my left hand goes numb. Off to get more massage and chiro!
I love you!
Thank you. I love you too!!