The In Between Time

Such a weird feeling; this in between time. It’s a strange haze of grief, yet at the same time, living life. And that entails the normal range of emotions from sadness, to frustration and anger, to joy, laughter, and having fun. But the calm peacefulness that I had been becoming so used to, seems to be just out of reach right now. It’s like I know it’s there, near me, but still, outside of me.

And not to my surprise, after having the most stressful 2 weeks in my life, being notified of my mother’s unexpected death, and flying across country to deal with things, traveling during the time of year when everyone around me was sick, I am now coming down with a cold as well. Yuck. Not liking that foul taste when I cough up crud from my lungs.

On top of that, because so much stuff is being processed so rapidly in my physical and energy bodies, I have been waking up exhausted lately. Naps are not optional, they are a necessity right now.

I struggle to get done the things that I absolutely must do, knowing that in time it will be better. For now, I need to remember to not overwhelm my brain with things I think I should do, and things that will happen down the road. Stay in the here and now. Deal with what I must, at this moment. And at this moment I need sleep, like a field laying fallow.

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About mariner2mother

I'm a mother of a very spirited 15 year old son, and a former merchant ship's deck officer. To feed my creative side I take photos. I am also Reiki attuned and am a student of Energy Healing, having used several healing modalities to work on myself and my family. Our most recent adventure has me homeschooling my teenager.
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7 Responses to The In Between Time

  1. I’m sorry for your loss. Take time to take care of yourself.

  2. emjayandthem says:

    I remember this time and that feeling — when my Husband’s mother died unexpectedly after my FIL had been in and out of the hospital for a couple of weeks; there was a weird period of time when we felt like we were straddling two worlds — one of death, loss, grief, details, flowers, arrangements, ugh and the other of work, children, home, life, moving on. It’s a very transitional and odd place to be, and not one I care to visit again.

    You are wise to rest when you can and to acknowledge that true honest refreshment is just going to be very hard to come by right now.

    so sorry for all you’re shouldering; Peace be with you now and in the days to come.

    MJ

  3. Lenore Diane says:

    I’m behind on your writing, Susan. The in between time is a weird place, isn’t it? I hope you gave yourself permission to just be, because we need time to do that – truly.

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