Such a weird feeling; this in between time. It’s a strange haze of grief, yet at the same time, living life. And that entails the normal range of emotions from sadness, to frustration and anger, to joy, laughter, and having fun. But the calm peacefulness that I had been becoming so used to, seems to be just out of reach right now. It’s like I know it’s there, near me, but still, outside of me.
And not to my surprise, after having the most stressful 2 weeks in my life, being notified of my mother’s unexpected death, and flying across country to deal with things, traveling during the time of year when everyone around me was sick, I am now coming down with a cold as well. Yuck. Not liking that foul taste when I cough up crud from my lungs.
On top of that, because so much stuff is being processed so rapidly in my physical and energy bodies, I have been waking up exhausted lately. Naps are not optional, they are a necessity right now.
I struggle to get done the things that I absolutely must do, knowing that in time it will be better. For now, I need to remember to not overwhelm my brain with things I think I should do, and things that will happen down the road. Stay in the here and now. Deal with what I must, at this moment. And at this moment I need sleep, like a field laying fallow.