I wear a large protective layer that I have come to refer to as a fat suit. It’s not the real me. It covers and protects me. I first saw this suit when I was doing a hypnosis session back in 2000. That day, during the session, I was deeply relaxed, and all of a sudden, I realized I was wearing a fat suit, like a jumpsuit. I was able to unzip it, and I watched it fall to the ground, and I stepped out of it, wearing the body I had as a younger me, when I was fit and athletic. After that session, I thought that all my weight problems were over. Well, I was brand new to hypnosis, didn’t know why I had this fat suit, knew nothing about healing, and my weight problems were not over. Yes, a real layer of healing had happened, but I had no idea how very many layers were left.
This is how healing works. It happens in stages, in layers. It’s easier for a person to let go of things little by little. Or to make changes gradually. As I recently read, if your personal vibration isn’t up to the level of where you’ve suddenly jumped up to, you won’t be able to maintain that new level of vibration. What that means is, if you haven’t done the work to let go of the crap that was blocking your ability to reach your goals previously, having your goals and more suddenly dropped into your lap won’t be something you will be able to keep longterm. Once in a very long time, with the grace of God, the Universe, or whatever label you stick on it, a miracle can happen.
A perfect example of this was back in late 2000 when I joined Weight Watchers. I did great! I lost 45 lbs! And within 2 or 3 years, I gained it all back, and more. When I tried to do the program again, it felt like I was a kicking mule, fighting myself tooth and nail. That’s when I gave up on diets for good.
Back in early 2008, I decided to try working with a hypnotherapist again. I only had about 4 or 5 sessions back in 1999, and never went further. During the handful of sessions I had with this new hypnotherapist, the most intense, and healing session, was when I met my guardian angel. I healed a large, painful emotion that had been with me for years. Lots of healing/releasing happened that day.
After that, I found someone local, and worked with him. More layers of healing happened, and more cool experiences happened. Richard regressed me back and back, and before I knew it, I was witness to the planning stages, before I entered this physical life. What was revealed to me, was one of the lessons I chose to learn during this lifetime, and a misbelief surrounding it. In correcting the misbelief, a large layer of healing happened for me.
For the past few weeks, I’ve been working with a woman who I met last winter when she gave a talk that I attended. Last week, she had me deeply relaxed, so relaxed in fact, that I don’t remember how we started off the session. I was fully aware at the time, but only the major parts of the session remain in my conscious memory now.
I remember connecting with me as a young girl, and I was afraid. Not of something in particular, just afraid. I had a lot of fear as a child. I was painfully shy. All of a sudden, I realized that the fear was only in my mind. I had created it. It was a block holding me back. And I could leave it behind, as easily as walking through the fear, or taking it off, as with a cardigan sweater. I saw young me take off the sweater and walk through her fears.
In the next moment, I was observing my adult body, wearing the fat suit, and I began to take it off. But I wasn’t alone. I sensed that I was surrounded by, and being helped by everyone who has been with me on my journey: my spirit guides, a variety of angels including my guardian angel, some archangels, and a bunch of other angels. And to top if off, several family members who are deceased, were also there. One of the biggest presences was my mother. She shined so brightly, and was so big. She beamed with pride, and was fully supportive and loving. That moment left me weeping. What my mother was not able to do in life, she was now doing, from the spirit realm.
It wasn’t just me lifting that heavy suit off, it was all these beings in spirit, lifting too. And as we all worked to peel back the suit, light shone out underneath it, from my true self. The more the fat suit came off, the more my light blazed forth. Once again, I was reduced to a mess of tears of release. Years of “protection” had actually been years of blocking my own light from shining forth.
Finally, the entire suit had been lifted off me. My body was shining like the sun. What was underneath was me, just at a healthy, happy weight. The energetic and trim me that I knew a very long time ago. The epiphany for me, was even though I thought I had needed the extra weight for protection, all it was really doing was blocking me from my own essence, my own light. And all it took to release that block was to step through my fear, like a lioness, proud and strong. Another epiphany was knowing that my mother is with me, looking in on me from time to time, and is my biggest champion.
After such a huge, healing release as I experienced, I wonder how much of my eating issues are left to be worked on. Not many, I hope. This layer that came off, was a biggie. And the healing that happened with the relationship between me and my mother, was also a biggie. Now I wait and notice. Notice what has shifted- what feels different- what has changed.