A few posts ago, I was having a very difficult Mother’s Day. It had come at the end of a week when Little Man’s anxiety had caused him to miss some school. The week after Mother’s Day brought a few more days of high anxiety, and Little Man missed more school.
Because of crucial, time-sensitive testing that had to be completed with Little Man, I had to get him to school two weeks ago on Friday. As I picked up homework for Little Man, I told his Special Ed. teacher that I’d do whatever I had to do to get him to school for this testing. I promised I’d have him there, even if he was catatonic.
On my way out, Little Man’s teacher stuck her head into the hallway and made a comment about how she can deal with a sick husband, occasionally have to take him to the hospital, and she still manages to get to school to do her job. In that moment, I almost jumped down her throat. I told her that she doesn’t have a brain that basically betrays her. And, of course, after I left the school I became livid that she had the gall to compare herself, a grown adult with a “neurotypical” brain, to my son who is 12 and whose brain is absolutely NOT neurotypical. How the fuck dare she! She obviously thinks that anxiety and panic attacks are not real.
To put the cherry on top of the sundae, when I was leaving the classroom building, the school counselor, who really doesn’t know Little Man’s situation, but loves to stick her nose into people’s business, decided she knew what was best for my kid when I told her I was having a tough day dealing with his anxiety (and school). By the time she got done with me, she made sure I knew that if we didn’t get this child on medication, his anxiety would only get worse over time. So I’d better get on it as soon as possible. I told her about his horrible experience doing a medication trial for ADHD drugs, but she apparently knows more about my son than I do.
The next morning, Friday, Little Man had a grade A, first class panic attack. I told him over and over that he had to go to school, at least long enough to do testing, and I hated to force him, but it had to happen. The poor kid’s stomach was in knots, and by the time I pushed him to get dressed, to put shoes on, to get outside and into the car, he was a crying mess and thought he was going to pass out. (I secretly wished he’d pass out in the hallway outside of his classroom so his teacher would understand just how real anxiety can be). I dragged him out of the car and walked him to class, where he was barely able to function. Doing what I did to get him there went against every fiber of my being, and by the time I got back to my car I was a quivering mess of tears. It rocked me to my core. I got the call 3 1/2 hours later to pick him up. He’d made it through the testing.
A lot of times, I rely on energy healers because they address unseen causes for all sorts of ills (beautifully described by Caroline Myss on her DVD, The Energetics of Healing – search for clips on YouTube). I also call on psychics for advice because they can see the reality of what’s going on. They can see past the exterior situation, into the energies that are generating whatever is happening. Clairvoyance literally means clear seeing: seeing what’s really happening. (By the way, absolutely anyone can develop their clairvoyance with training).
The night before that terrible Friday morning, I had gotten in touch with a man who has an amazing natural ability to heal people. He can touch them, talk with them, or use his intention over a distance, to create physical, emotional, or spiritual healing. I asked this man if he would send Little Man a healing, which he did Thursday night while the boy slept. When Friday morning arrived and Little Man had the panic attack, I was a little bit surprised, but I also know that it can take a number of days to see change after receiving healing energy.
Something I noticed, looking back, is that things started to shift by Saturday. I firmly believe that the healing energy that was sent Thursday night started to kick in. Little Man was in great spirits because it was a weekend and he was going to play with a buddy. But for me things also started to shift in a good way. I went to a local holistic fair and had a very helpful reading from a trusted local psychic I know. When I asked her to look at the energetic dynamic between Little Man and his teacher, she saw right away what was going on. Having this knowledge changed everything.
Little Man is empathic. Everyone understands that having empathy for someone means you can imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes. Being an empath is literally feeling other people’s emotions (and sometimes their physical pain). Little Man picks up on everyone’s feelings around him. Because he’s young, he has not developed any filters. He often doesn’t know when he feels feelings if they are his or someone else’s; they often feel like they belong to him, especially in a crowded room that he’s been in for a while.
One of Little Man’s motivators is that because he can feel other people’s feelings, he wants everyone to be happy. With regards to his teacher, he wants to please her, wants her to be happy. She likes to dangle the reward carrot in front of her students to get them to perform. With Little Man, all he needs is praise and he’ll jump for the moon.
What I learned from the clairvoyant reading is that there is a soul contract between Little Man and his teacher. They have shared past lives together and in spirit, decided to come together as teacher and student to give them both opportunities for soul growth and expansion. One thing I now see quite clearly, is that the soul likes to set up situations that are uncomfortable and even painful, to get us to have opportunities to grow. In this case, it’s been the exacerbation of Little Man’s anxiety. I believe the lesson here is to help this kid learn about and learn how to manage his own personal energy.
The reading also let me know that his teacher has a bucket load of personal baggage that she carries around, including a deep need to be perfect that shows up in her work as a teacher, and as a spouse to a chronically ill husband. She’s not working on healing her load of crap because you can’t heal what you don’t even acknowledge. What happens is, when she’s not a “perfect” teacher (however she defines this) she gets all wound up and gets anxious and panicky inside. When she’s had to take her husband to the hospital (where he’s had to stay) and has been up half the night, she martyrs herself by coming in and teaching, when she should be with her husband. And with new and significantly more state testing this year, all of the teachers and administration have been unusually stressed out. Little Man picks up on it and doesn’t recognize the energy as coming from outside of him. When Little Man is home and thinks about going to school, what comes up for him is panic and anxiety.
In seeing the truth of what’s been going on, I immediately felt a shift in my world. Once I know what’s driving what I’m seeing, it gives me something to work with. So, what to do.
One thing the psychic told me was that Little Man is a natural healer. And that when his teacher starts getting wound up, Little Man can stealthfully shoot healing balls of white light out of the palms of his hands at his teacher, sort of like Iron Man. But instead of destroying stuff, he’s healing her. Doing things like this give Little Man power in the situation, and help his teacher, which actually helps him.
Since that weekend, Little Man has been getting better and better. He hasn’t missed any school, and even went to school a few days ago with a mild headache. Previously, it would have rolled into a full-blown panic attack. I stayed home, waiting for the call to pick him up that never came. He later told me his headache went away by lunchtime.
I’ve done a few more things to support Little Man and to help shift his energetic relationship with his teacher, that I’ll write about in a future post. I’ll also share some very positive shifts and synchronicities I experienced.
These days I recognize that healing energy can create all sorts of effects, including release of physical and emotional pain, the occurrence of synchronicities, and just noticing that things seem to be going better in life in general.