Three years ago, my parents had both died, the family house was emptied and sold, and my older brother was in the throes of executing both of our parents’ wills.
With everything that had gone on during 2012, the year from hell, I took this opportunity to really start digging in and work on healing the little girl inside of me. She had a very rough road during a lot of the first 16 or so years of her life.
By this point I had just discovered a hypnotherapist who helped me make big progress in my personal life. She was the perfect fit for me, with her backgrounds in counseling, hypnosis, and spirituality, guiding me through sessions where I reclaimed bits of my spirit and started to heal childhood wounds. Instead of spending months talking about an issue, trying to figure it out, using hypnosis we got out the bulldozer and trenched directly to the truth; creating massive amounts of healing in a short amount of time.
As I began to reclaim pieces of myself, I was able to see scenes from my young life that I had blocked out from my conscious mind. Scenes where my mother and brother treated me badly. Very badly. And it started very young. The more I opened up and healed, the more things were able to bubble up, screaming out to be healed as well.
One of the emotions that was buried very deep was anger. Mega-tons of it. And fear. As the anger in particular was given an opportunity to come up, I needed a safe place to process it and to vent. Because writing is one of my most effective ways to process, I created an anonymous blog. I was able to rant and rave there and be a victim of abuse, and identify with other victims.
In the past three years, because of the progress I’ve made in healing, the majority of my being no longer identifies with “victim.” Yes, I identify with having been wounded and having experienced certain traumas in my life, but most of the time I don’t feel like a victim. Because of this shift, I decided to stop writing in my anonymous blog and create a sister blog to this one.
Remembering My Divinity is a place where I write about the darker and more difficult things in my life and how I am finding my way out of the darkness into the light. It has a spiritual perspective because that’s the lens through which my healing is happening, and my life is now lived. My entire healing path has been one that has been leading me to remember the Divine spirit that I am at my core.
It is showing me that I am not my role as former merchant mariner, wife, mother, sister, or friend. I am not society’s judgment of me. I am not this female, middle-aged body. I am a curious eternal spirit that inhabits and has a partnership with this body, who performs roles and talks and walks through life looking and acting as I do. Through healing, I’ve learned that my life and the abuse I suffered was and is absolutely not random. And I am learning how and why I create this experience that is my life.
My healing path is reconnecting me to my direct connection to God, which is also known as intuition, giving me additional tools to navigate the world in another way, using things like clairvoyance, clairsentience, claircognizance, and more.
As frank and honest as I write in general, Remembering My Divinity goes deeper into the realm of real and at times uncomfortable and controversial, that I’d rather keep separate from this blog. As the new blog is just that, new, there are only a handful of posts so far; and I invite you to pop over and check it out.
Meanwhile, over here I’ll still be writing about life as mom to a very special boy, our new adventures into de-schooling and homeschooling, sharing my photography, and sharing a bit about energy healing as I continue that work.