To my Little Man,
I can’t believe we have another year under our belts as a mother and son team. What an adventure it’s been! I can’t believe you’re turning into a full-fledged teen; not a newbie teen of thirteen, but a teen with a full year under your belt, at fourteen. And I can’t believe you’re almost a full four inches taller than me now!
What a crazy journey we’ve been having together.
Your entry into the world will always be special in more ways than one. Of course, it was special because your long anticipated welcome finally happened. But it was also special because you decided to make your entrance almost two full months before we expected.
You flew the coop of my womb and flew from the hospital in a helicopter only two hours later. And just as the little voice whispered in my head the first moment I heard you squeak (I mean, cry), you did just fine. With a few more weeks of baking in an oven not of mom, you were finally given the green light to come home, two weeks before Christmas.
Best Christmas present ever!!
As you grew and experienced the world, you figured out sometimes the learning curve doing something new is a bit steep. But when you really want something, you figure it out until you’ve got it down. Mastery!
When it comes to being your mom, just when I thought I’d mastered the learning curve of figuring you out, you’d change. Something new kept coming up.
I do like puzzles, but you’ve been my first living, breathing, ever morphing puzzle. I like a challenge, but holy cow! Challenge after challenge after challenge. Sometimes I wondered how I could ever sign up for this. And then I’d realize that you are here to teach me every bit as much as I’ve been teaching you.
This past year in particular has been a steep learning curve for us, again. I’m now versed in something I’d hoped I never be dealing with: homeschooling. It’s not that I don’t believe in homeschooling being a great way to educate a child (because I definitely believe that more than ever at this point), but I didn’t want to have to do it. And I’m still finding my way on that one.
Something else I’ve been learning more than I ever wanted to know about, is anxiety and panic attacks. Holy moly, what a lesson there! I thought I understood a bit about anxiety, but I knew nothing. Just as I discovered your school teachers knew: nothing.
So that I can be here for you without flipping out (as much), I’ve been working on healing my own internal reactivity. You know me. When I can’t change a situation, I work on changing how I feel about it and react to it. And the most effective way I’ve found is energy healing. And guess what, kiddo? In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m doing better.
Because I know what an amazingly powerful tool energy healing is, especially when it comes to our emotions, I know that your experiencing anxiety and panic attacks won’t be forever. I know that these things, as real and debilitating as they’ve been this past year, won’t always be so. And because I’m bound and determined and stubborn as a mule sometimes, I won’t stop looking for the ways to help you with this. I think you’re already noticing some changes since the healing session you had a few weeks ago.
You certainly don’t let me off easy with much of anything except for one thing. I got off easy with having a kid with a heart-directed compass, and who is tuned in to his intuition. (Oh yeah, you’re pretty smart and funny too). I don’t have to worry about your ever being a bully or hanging out with kids who are headed for trouble. Your heart and intuition won’t let you. You know who to hang out with, and who to let go of.
Those things makes everything else a cake walk.
I know that one day all the years of therapies (speech, occupational, physical, vision, and energy) and schooling will fade in your memory as you are out on your own, doing your thing, changing the world.
Thank you for coming into my life, for giving me lots of opportunities to grow and to learn, and for loving me.
Just do me one little favor? I could use a break from this past year, so let’s make this next year just a little less exciting, ok? Growing is an awesome thing, but as you know from occasional leg pains, it’s not always pleasant in the moment.
Happy Fourteenth, Kiddo! Love you buckets!