Another Year, Another Adventure

To my Little Man,

I can’t believe we have another year under our belts as a mother and son team. What an adventure it’s been! I can’t believe you’re turning into a full-fledged teen; not a newbie teen of thirteen, but a teen with a full year under your belt, at fourteen. And I can’t believe you’re almost a full four inches taller than me now!

What a crazy journey we’ve been having together.

Your entry into the world will always be special in more ways than one. Of course, it was special because your long anticipated welcome finally happened. But it was also special because you decided to make your entrance almost two full months before we expected.

You flew the coop of my womb and flew from the hospital in a helicopter only two hours later. And just as the little voice whispered in my head the first moment I heard you squeak (I mean, cry), you did just fine. With a few more weeks of baking in an oven not of mom, you were finally given the green light to come home, two weeks before Christmas.

Best Christmas present ever!!

Happy and smiling at six months.

Happy and smiling at six months.

As you grew and experienced the world, you figured out sometimes the learning curve doing something new is a bit steep. But when you really want something, you figure it out until you’ve got it down. Mastery!

When it comes to being your mom, just when I thought I’d mastered the learning curve of figuring you out, you’d change. Something new kept coming up.

I do like puzzles, but you’ve been my first living, breathing, ever morphing puzzle. I like a challenge, but holy cow! Challenge after challenge after challenge. Sometimes I wondered how I could ever sign up for this. And then I’d realize that you are here to teach me every bit as much as I’ve been teaching you.

This past year in particular has been a steep learning curve for us, again. I’m now versed in something I’d hoped I never be dealing with: homeschooling. It’s not that I don’t believe in homeschooling being a great way to educate a child (because I definitely believe that more than ever at this point), but I didn’t want to have to do it. And I’m still finding my way on that one.

Something else I’ve been learning more than I ever wanted to know about, is anxiety and panic attacks. Holy moly, what a lesson there! I thought I understood a bit about anxiety, but I knew nothing. Just as I discovered your school teachers knew: nothing.

So that I can be here for you without flipping out (as much), I’ve been working on healing my own internal reactivity. You know me. When I can’t change a situation, I work on changing how I feel about it and react to it. And the most effective way I’ve found is energy healing. And guess what, kiddo? In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m doing better.

Because I know what an amazingly powerful tool energy healing is, especially when it comes to our emotions, I know that your experiencing anxiety and panic attacks won’t be forever. I know that these things, as real and debilitating as they’ve been this past year, won’t always be so. And because I’m bound and determined and stubborn as a mule sometimes, I won’t stop looking for the ways to help you with this. I think you’re already noticing some changes since the healing session you had a few weeks ago.

You certainly don’t let me off easy with much of anything except for one thing. I got off easy with having a kid with a heart-directed compass, and who is tuned in to his intuition. (Oh yeah, you’re pretty smart and funny too). I don’t have to worry about your ever being a bully or hanging out with kids who are headed for trouble. Your heart and intuition won’t let you. You know who to hang out with, and who to let go of.

Those things makes everything else a cake walk.

I know that one day all the years of therapies (speech, occupational, physical, vision, and energy) and schooling will fade in your memory as you are out on your own, doing your thing, changing the world.

spread-your-wings-and-fly

Thank you for coming into my life, for giving me lots of opportunities to grow and to learn, and for loving me.

Just do me one little favor? I could use a break from this past year, so let’s make this next year just a little less exciting, ok? Growing is an awesome thing, but as you know from occasional leg pains, it’s not always pleasant in the moment.

Happy Fourteenth, Kiddo! Love you buckets!

Mom

 

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About mariner2mother

I'm a mother of a very spirited 14 year old son, and a former merchant ship's deck officer. To feed my creative side I take photos and make a very occasional batch of soap. I am also Reiki attuned and am a student of Energy Healing, having used several healing modalities to work on myself and my family.
This entry was posted in Mental Health, The Voyage and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Another Year, Another Adventure

  1. janonlife says:

    Happy birthday to your son! xx Hope he has a great year.

  2. Sweetness. Happy birthday little man!

  3. I hope he has a wonderful 14 yr old year!!!

  4. jamivee says:

    This boy is lucky to have such a stubborn, loving, tenacious, compassionate, protective momma. I can feel the love oozing from your words. I’m wishing nothing but great satisfaction for both of you this year. xo

  5. What a beautiful love letter, Susan. I hope one day your Little Man reads this, and really gets it. xo

  6. MollyB111 says:

    As I read, I could feel the love! What a lucky young man!
    I had a discussion with my son on anxiety and he said is was the norm for middle school. I had to think on my teens years where it was never an issue or even known/discussed.
    Wishing you an amazing 14th year!

    • Thanks Molly. This past year, I got the lesson of the difference between being anxious and having anxiety and panic attack disorder, when my son was decimated by it. It really came on in sixth grade, but I refused to understand it or honor my son then. And with the population of middle school, he couldn’t take it, being an empath. Still working on it.

  7. Beautiful post, this one sentence “I do like puzzles, but you’ve been my first living, breathing, ever morphing puzzle.” is just plain poetic, just as much as what follows.

    • Thanks so much! The beauty of having experienced a spiritual awakening, is that I now appreciate the harder times in life because I see them through a different lens. Doesn’t mean they don’t suck in the moment; but when I get enough distance to be able to look backwards, I get it. And more and more, this distance is shorter and shorter. I’m “getting it” much more quickly.

      • Yes, I can relate to that, too. Wouldn’t is be great if at some point in time we could even realize it when we’re right in the middle, and pause, and think, oh yeah, that’s one of those moments that will teach you, you will only find out later what about, but be assured it’s worth the trouble, and then calmly go through it with a smile on your face, knowing.

        • I kinda of had that when I had to pull my son out of school. I was in an absolute terror panic for about 2 days or so, when all of a sudden I realized that such a major shift is putting us both on a completely new trajectory for a reason that I didn’t see yet. Just knowing that, allowed me to be ok with it all. It was as if we needed a giant life course correction.

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