The respite between storms didn’t last as long as I’d hoped. Going through a Kundalini Awakening process has been, quite frankly, kicking my ass. It’s been the most mentally and physically challenging marathon I’ve ever experienced. I’d rather take on the Boston Marathon and Heartbreak Hill right about now. At least that would be over in a matter of hours.
Storm surge after storm surge, topped with whitecaps.
At this point, my butt is dragging so far behind me, I think it’s in another state. Or planet.
Been trying to keep the engines running, but sometimes there is no power and I have to go to all stop.
Exhaustion ends in sleep, yet sleep is not restorative. I remember my dreams and they all suck. They are all worries and fears being acted out.
I wake up almost as tired as I fell asleep.
Green seas crashing over the deck means batten down the hatches and dog the doors tight.
Some days I have no choice but to retreat to my bed, trying to remain unconscious if possible, waiting for my brain to change its wiring. Old neurology dying, firing off chemicals of fear. Sleep coming in 90 minute chunks.
Soaking in salt water helps on so many levels. The brine is magic.
Trying to do simple, everyday tasks when the brain isn’t well, doesn’t fly. So they don’t happen. Thank goodness teenagers can suddenly become very capable when they want things, like food and clean clothes.
I’m learning to strike while the iron is hot. Move when my brain and body are in sync, between the surges. And not sweat the small stuff. And believe you me, so much of what we deem imperative, really isn’t.
These days my priorities are simple. Stay alive. Keep the kid alive and the pets alive. The husband can keep himself alive, so no worries there. And the rest is gravy.
Fair winds and following seas.