As 2017 winds down, looking back to the beginning of the year, we put a new president into the White House, one whom I (and many others) would soon recognize as having a personality disorder. My son was busy unschooling, and I was working on healing a cranky gallbladder using every tool in my arsenal. Little did I know that uncovering why my gallbladder was having trouble, would lead to a spontaneous Kundalini awakening of the first order.
The thing about life is, sometimes your personal plate becomes so full that you can’t see much beyond it. That’s what happened when I took my son out of school last year. It was all hands on deck focusing on helping my son. And because I understand the amazing power of energy healing, that was the route we went.
As long as life allowed us to let my son be himself and do his thing, we did. And that rolled into the first half of 2017.
With our new president creating news-worthy statements and actions almost daily, triggering America constantly into fear and outrage, most of the country has been wrapped up in news stories like it hasn’t been since I don’t know when. It’s been a year of discomfort for much of the American public. And a year of people being moved into action, pushing for change.
It’s also been a year of change me, personally. One of the effects of having Kundalini energy active in me is, lots of change, like it or not. It’s been a roller coaster ride of healing like no other, creating significant changes in my consciousness, brain, and body.
Commonly, a healing session has a side effect of temporary tiredness, that resolves within a few days at most, and a person can also experience temporary soreness and irritability. The exponential and chronic energy shifts of Kundalini energy has left me tired to exhausted, very emotional, achy, with periods of releasing mountains of fear, anger, or sadness.
The second half of 2017 has been months of extreme in many ways, rocketing healing into massively uncomfortable overdrive.
Miserable side effects aside, strings that pluck reactivity in me are dissolving. Fears of every kind are dissolving. Old threads of anger, shame, sadness, jealousy, and frustration are dissolving, changing the very fabric of my consciousness, my psyche, my mind.
Lately, I haven’t felt much like myself at all – not integrated within myself. But I know I will in time, because the feeling visits from time to time.
For my son, a change in schooling style this past fall brought back the fact that he lives with anxiety, in grand form. Extremely uncomfortable panic attacks have impacted his ability to learn. Giving him time to find ways to cope with his anxiety have finally made it very clear that it’s time to do something different to help the anxiety shift, and we’re venturing down that road now. As with all things, it will take time to sort it out.
With 2017 being a year of massive upheaval and peeling away of things that no longer work for both me, my son, and the country I live in, it’s been a messy and uncomfortable process, as big change usually is. It’s been an internal process for me, and very much an external process for the country.
Looking forward to 2018, when it comes to the US, know that life with a narcissist is constantly filled with drama because they struggle tremendously with any sort of connection to their true authentic selves. Because there is so little heart connection to themselves, life chronically triggers them into childish behavior including blatant lying, constantly bringing up past hurts, and language that is not the complex language of an adult, but becomes very simple and repetitive. Becoming triggered reverts their persona instantly to the age when they became disconnected in childhood. So, they look like an adult, but often act like a child who pouts and throws tantrums when they don’t get their way.
The world of politics will continue to be very uncomfortable in 2018, as people who have been silent are finding their voices, raising them in protest. And as some people who believed the campaign lies of our president become more and more disillusioned.
Over the course of this next year, my own personal process will continue as it needs. I’m pretty much along for the ride, using every tool I own to get through. It will be interesting to see where life has me a year from now. Hopefully, with more energy and connection within myself.
As 2018 rolls out, one thing I know for sure is, as scary and hard as change can feel, things always eventually work out to some sort of new normalcy.
Despite what our linear brain likes to have us believe, life is one big cycle with all sorts of smaller cycles within. When you’re being squeezed, know it won’t be forever. When you’re having trouble breathing, hang on. And when you don’t think you can make it another minute, have faith that this too shall pass.
Fair winds and following seas to 2017. Here’s to clarity in 2018.