Just about two years ago, when I was working on healing some “stuff,” I experienced an unexpected, massive shift in my consciousness. How I perceived myself and my entire world changed dramatically, pretty much overnight. Since then, life has been more than a little crazy. When Kundalini energy flies open, you have no choice but to change. As my consciousness shifted, this powerful energy of creation (change) roared to life, like an inferno.
Sometimes I sit back and look at my life, look at what I wanted to be when I grew up, what I expected my life to look like, and I have to laugh out loud. When I began this blog almost nine years ago, I was a stay at home mom of one kiddo with a few labels, invisible disabilities, whatever you want to call them, navigating the journey of motherhood. I was not religious, not spiritually awake, and was not a spiritual seeker. I was a very typical mother and homemaker.
What I never anticipated were all the twists and turns this journey would take. And in particular, the metaphysical, spiritual one. It still blows me away when I think about it.
This most unexpected metaphysical journey started off innocently enough when I realized diets were no longer the answer for a longtime issue with weight, and I explored hypnosis for weight loss. I don’t remember where the idea came from, but it probably had something to do with watching the Oprah Show.
Acting on that one fateful decision changed the trajectory of my life.
Before seeking out my first hypnotherapist, the only experience I’d had with a hypnotist was at our high school, as part of a stage show. I was not hypnotized. But here I was in my mid-thirties and desperate.
Finding someone local, the first hypnotherapist I worked with said she didn’t have experience helping people lose weight, but if I was game, she’d do her best. I don’t remember if she told me that first day what her specialty was, but even if she had, I wouldn’t have known what having a past life regression was. And we never did one. We worked together, and I had some progress.
I enjoyed her process of taking me on a little journey, asking me to imagine this and picture that, and was beyond surprised when what I was “imagining” suddenly changed all on its own, and I became the observer watching a movie play out, always moving in the direction of feeling better. It was my first experience of inner healing, even though I didn’t recognize it as such, way back then.
After we’d had a number of sessions together, one day, as we were near the end of our little inner journey, the hypnotherapist asked me to picture my higher self. My what? What’s that? She began to describe it as the part of me that’s always connected to higher wisdom: the part of me that has all the answers for me and my life. Before she finished describing it, I was suddenly whisked away to another scene. But I wasn’t trying to do anything. I was just there, watching things play out.
Over the next several minutes, I had the first of what would eventually be a handful of metaphysical experiences. It not only blew my mind, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt, that what I saw and felt was absolutely true and real because it resonated in my bones. I had an experience of my higher self that left me knowing it had so much energy, was incredibly powerful and strong, was fun and humorous, and was ultimately unconditionally loving beyond what my human brain could comprehend.
My work with her ended as I felt like I was in a good place. I’d joined Weight Watchers and almost fifty pounds came off with ease. And then life’s next major stressors hit. Weight crept back and at some point I tried to diet again with Weight Watchers. Before long I had nothing in me that could stick with a diet for even a day.
I got swept up with life: marriage, pregnancy, miscarriage that totally rocked my world, death of an in-law, pregnancy, premature birth, and being blindsided by postpartum depression with no diagnosis or relief for years, while raising a child with special needs.
When my son was seven and was receiving vision therapy, as I sat in the waiting room reading magazines, one day I noticed a bunch of brochures about this thing called Energy Therapy. The first time I read about this magical thing that supposedly helped fix all sorts of issues, from relationships, finance, health, and more, I dismissed it, barely paying attention. At that point, my son had received speech therapy and occupational therapy, but energy therapy was something completely new to me. About four months later, I picked up the same brochure, in the same waiting room and something about the words, “Lose Weight,” and “Free Consultation” caught my eye this time.
I went in for the free consultation and was blown away. It was my first experience with someone who was intuitive, and I was beyond intrigued.
The practitioner worked on me, helping my miserable back feel better, and she worked on my son, who’d needed daily stool softeners for four years. It was like magic! One day he needed the medicine, the next day he didn’t. And she helped heal my food cravings to the point that when I discovered I was allergic to dairy products, I was able to stop eating them altogether, because my life-long intense cravings for dairy was gone. This thing called energy therapy was incredible. I was curious!
Not too long after that, I looked for another hypnotherapist, this time one who worked specifically with clients wanting to lose weight, finding one who was pretty far away. A few sessions in, I had another mind-blowing metaphysical experience. This time having an angel heal me of all shame. Because I was so used to carrying around shame from my childhood, I never knew what it felt like to be free of it. Quite simply, it was life-changing. That relationship lasted about five sessions. I’ll just say that as talented as she was, after a while, it was no longer a good match.
About a year or two later, I finally decided to look for another hypnotherapist, this time finding someone local, whose practice was all about getting to the emotional root of issues. Our sessions together were transformative, healing root causes of food cravings as they came up. And working with this man, I had not one, but three incredible metaphysical experiences.
As my hypnotherapist took me back in time, looking for the root of these various stressors that sent me running for food, his process had me regress in time until the feeling I was tuning into felt new, indicating we’d reached its origin, its roots.
During one of the sessions, much to my complete surprise, I regressed back through my entire childhood, through being born, being in the womb, waiting to enter into my physical body, and back to my existence as spirit, when I was planning my life and life challenges with the help of a guide. I was shown a life challenge that I wanted to take on.
After changing my perspective of things, the food craving dissolved. As that one dissolved, I’d notice other things that brought on cravings and they were also dissolved. In total, I saw some of my pre-birth planning, three times. It was amazing to see and know deep in my bones that we actually plan to have difficult times in life to challenge our soul to grow.
I did great work with this hypnotherapist, and eventually I was doing so well that I stopped seeing him. Once again, weight began to slide off with little effort.
About a year later, always on the lookout for things to help my son, I heard about this thing called Reiki that could help my son fall asleep at night. He’d always been a lousy sleeper, and it was wearing me to a nub. Without really knowing what Reiki was, I took a one-day class. The thing about becoming Reiki attuned, is it changes a person. It opens them up to the healing energy of the Universe.
What I never saw coming were a few synchronous events the weeks after my Reiki class that led me to a spiritual awakening. Something in me burst open, and suddenly I had an overwhelming drive to know everything about energy healing. Yesterday. I was a woman on a mission, absorbing information like a dry sponge. I couldn’t learn enough fast enough, spending hours every day reading, watching, and listening. After experiencing proof positive there was something to life beyond what our five senses and instruments can detect, something very deep inside me woke up. And I had to know how people could heal things in their lives in this magical way.
Next came classes at a local spiritual reading and healing center, where I learned about Energy. From there, I received a few healing sessions from the center’s owner, and was beyond fascinated with her clairvoyant ability. So I signed up for Clairvoyance 101. Anyone can learn how to recognize and use their clairvoyant ability. Within a little over a year, I’d taken every class she offered during the day (the only time I could go to classes). Clairvoyance, Energy Healing, Communicating with Spirit, first the entry-level classes and then the more advanced. These were short, six-week classes. Just right.
In the evening, she offered weekly guided meditations, and one night workshops learning about things like chakras, past lives, the Akashic Records, auras and other spiritual topics. And guests came to give talks. After one guest in particular spoke, his wife was briefly introduced as a hypnotherapist. Because of the progress I made using hypnotherapy, and the amazing metaphysical experiences I’d had, I was curious to know more about our speaker’s wife. It had been a few years since I’d done any hypnotherapy work, and I’d been looking for someone new to work with.
As I found out about her background, she sounded just right, especially with my newfound spiritual perspective of life. She’d been a therapist for years, added hypnosis training, and blended in a dash of spirituality. Within only a few sessions, I knew she was a good match for me, and the progress I made with her was profound. After each session, something about the way I saw and experienced the world changed noticeably. We didn’t work solely on food cravings, but on so many things that would benefit anyone. Personal power, boundaries, body image, and more, helping me heal from some difficult relationships in my life.
Before I knew it, the way I saw myself was morphing into someone self-assured, whole, powerful, and divine. As I connected to parts of my inner world, “lost” bits of my awareness, the inner wounded child who resided in my unconscious mind, became known to me again. And not only known, but healed. With each inner change, my inner dialog began to evolve from voices of pain, anger, disgust, and sadness, to those of love and support. I began to value and appreciate myself like never before, and held so much more peace inside than I’d ever known. My human psyche began to mirror my spiritual psyche. It was amazing.
About this time, I began to feel and know my own inner Divinity for the first time in my life, and created my sister blog, Remembering My Divinity, which is all about my healing journey. The good, bad, and the ugly. It’s filled with spiritual perspective and wisdom that’s come to me through spirit. My evolving truth. It’s real and it’s raw.
After about three years of achieving healing in leaps and bounds, early in 2017, the way I saw and thought about life in general began to change (because I’d changed so much). What I chose to address in healing sessions took me deeper than ever, creating healing not only across several moments in my life (as opposed to one or two moments), but began to leapfrog back to past lives. And then the healing began to ripple out beyond just my life and past lives, to the world.
As my perception began to gradually change, there was finally a tipping point, a moment when something seminal inside me shifted. It flipped around 180 degrees. My perception of not only myself, but my entire world changed. I had created so much intentional inner change that one of the major energies of creation, of change: Kundalini energy, became ignited.
It’s like there was someone watching me and said, “Yup! She’s far enough along on this trajectory that it’s time to flip the switch. Time to turn her world upside down and inside out. She can handle it. Sometimes just barely, but she can do this.”
Vibrating in my body, Kundalini energy has been peeling me open, scraping out all of the muck and gunk, blackness and crud – a sometimes excruciating process – leaving behind the energy of my soul. Leaving behind my essence. Love.
I’m still shocked now and then when I remember the sensitive and shy girl I used to be, sitting in church, wanting to be anywhere but there. Who grew up so fascinated with science, having less than no interest in God and the unseen world. Needing proof and evidence before believing something. Who followed a path that wound this way and that, following my curiosity from one thing to the next, ending up having all sorts of crazy metaphysical experiences. No longer believing in so many unseen things, but knowing them deep in my bones because I’ve experienced them.
Now that so much of my life journey has morphed into a metaphysical adventure, I’m not sure where it’s taking me. But I feel like I’m being changed significantly for a special purpose. On the surface, I’m a wife and mother, and those things won’t change. But there’s something else coming in. It’s still out there, out of arm’s reach, still in the misty haze, not yet formed.
And I’m looking forward to it coming into focus.