It feels strange to be at the beginning of a new decade, yet here we are. In many ways, it’s just like any other day or week, yet it’s not. When I look back at the past ten years, I’m struck by how much has changed. Not only has my energetic seven-year-old son turned into a teenager who’d rather hide out in his bedroom and spend time online with his friends, but the person I was is long gone, courtesy of two different spiritual awakenings.
These days, my son, taller than his father, is plugging his way through high school requirements, and is little more than halfway through. Because we work with an independent study private school, what school looks like for him is much different than it did when he went to public school. In some ways, it’s much better, because he can get the one on one attention at home that he so often needs, living with learning disabilities. Yet, because of the grueling Kundalini awakening process I’ve been going through for almost three years now, there have been many a day when I wished my son was back in public school with teachers who
aren’t me have proper training and having exposure to classes he won’t have at home. Nevertheless, we push on.
Ten years ago, I was a wife and mother with a passion for photography and writing. And just a few months into 2011, through a series of synchronous events, I experienced a very unexpected spiritual awakening. The process wasn’t uncomfortable at all, and in fact, felt like a curiosity that had been lying dormant within me woke up with ferocity. The desire to know everything about energy healing – and to know it yesterday. From 2011 to 2017, life sent me down the rabbit hole of healing and learning about healing. It was magical. And it was invaluable during the time of my parents’ demise, from September 2011 when they were both hospitalized, through my father’s and then my mother’s deaths in 2012, to emptying out and selling the family house early in 2013.
Upon my first awakening, I read voraciously, studied, watched interviews, took classes and workshops, had healing sessions, and every once in awhile practiced healing on my family. By the end of 2016, during healing sessions, I noticed that what was able to be healed was so much more than when I began working with this same hypnotherapist in 2013. Looking for root causes of emotional triggers usually took me back to childhood events that laid dormant in my unconscious mind, but from time to time my regression would end up in a previous lifetime. Leftover emotional pain (often fear) was still affecting me and we addressed and healed it.
By the end of February 2017, so much of my inner landscape had been healed that my soul conspired to create yet another massive shift in my consciousness, another awakening. This time, followed by Kundalini energy opening. The way I saw life began to shift quite dramatically, and Kundalini began its work on me. One of the things about my Kundalini awakening process has been unrelenting inner shifting, healing. Some people would say my ego is dying. It’s not dying, it’s being healed, belief by belief, Kundalini energy helping to bring it all up. Separated parts of my soul are being reunited with me, changing my consciousness. Changing how I see the world (with more compassion and understanding) and how I respond to life (with far less judgment and emotional reactivity).
Because I’ve never been a spiritual seeker and never in my wildest dreams expected to have a spiritual awakening, never mind two, searching for language to describe the hell ride I’ve been on for almost the past three years has been tough. Much of the language to describe what I’ve been going through comes from Eastern philosophies and schools of thought. Westerners are too much in our minds, needing scientific proof.
Yet here I sit, a science geek who needed proof before she believed things she couldn’t see, trying to describe a completely transformational process that can’t be seen or measured by current scientific instruments.
A few weeks ago, I found a YouTube channel of a woman who’s been through what I’m going through and is well out the other side. Keep in mind that each and every Kundalini experience is as unique as every person, yet there are similarities. So, if you’re at all interested in the topic of spiritual awakening, what they look like, and tips to help you survive a difficult one, check out Christina Lopes. She also offers coaching services to help people navigate spiritual awakenings.
I seem to have found the people and support I’ve needed to get through. And the tag end of 2018 through 2019 had me back to working in hypnotherapy after a year and a half break. Two of the biggest challenges during this intense process have been very literally rewiring my body and brain, creating havoc with my ability to think clearly and be energetic. As such, my ability to write has often been severely compromised. Hence, the dearth of posts on this blog over the past three years. It’s a temporary state, yet temporary when it comes to these sorts of awakenings can last for a number of years.
In the meanwhile, more of my postings have been on my sister blog, Remembering My Divinity, where I began to chronicle my healing journey in life back in 2016, and lately, my Kundalini awakening process. It’s real, it’s raw, and filled with spiritual perspective and wisdom.
Several years ago I stopped making New Year’s resolutions focused on my external life. This year, my resolve will be what it’s been for the past several years: to make it through what life throws at me with as much grace and ease as possible, without judging what that looks like.
And if I were to pick a word of the year (WOTY), it would be Clarity. To be able to see things clearly from the 30,000 ft. view of life, or as spiritual teacher Abraham-Hicks says, from a broader perspective. And to have very literally a clearer mind every day. Thinking through mud has not been fun or easy. Here’s to 2020 being full of clarity!