Ever since Kundalini energy opened in my body like a tap cranked full-on, my life has been altered. Or should I say, my perception of life has been altered. I still live in the same place, pretty much have the same responsibilities, and my family hasn’t changed, other than Little Man growing and moving his way through high school.
For me, Kundalini energy has been like having a hurricane sweep through my house every few weeks, requiring me to purge what’s broken and no longer works. To clean up the muck and dirt, washing, sweeping, and mopping. And to refile reams of papers that have been blown all over. But my house is my body and the papers are my inner world. And it seems like no matter how many times I clean the windows, there’s still a haze of dirt that just won’t come off.
My “normal” is still gone.
As you might expect, constant cleaning up and clearing out, and getting a household back in order is exhausting. The thing is, a lot of Kundalini’s “work” on me tends to happen when my mind isn’t occupied with regular life: when I’m sleeping.
Mornings greet me with a head of fog so thick it would challenge the fog I met in the mountains of North Carolina once. I was driving and couldn’t see the lines on the side of the road and had to pull over. Unfortunately, a cup of strong tea has about as much effect on me as it would on an actual fog bank.
So life is still challenging. Some days I seem to find myself more and more present and functional as the day goes on and I participate in life. I’m not quite sure why the early hours are such a struggle.
The good news is all this cleaning and clearing is changing me from the inside out. My “house” is becoming more pristine and streamlined. And flows with greater and greater ease. Or it will. When I finally pop out the other side of this awakening process, life will feel very different.
The irony is, over the past few months the coronavirus pandemic is forcing everyone to live life differently. It’s come in unwelcomed and is making life hell for so many. It’s forcing changes so many people haven’t been looking for and is pushing everyone to find new ways of living. And it’s put many people into survival mode who previously were doing ok.
It’s also giving us opportunities to change systems that weren’t necessarily working very well anymore. Pushing us to find new ways to do business, to govern, and educate our children. It’s creating massive, very uncomfortable change. And in time, as we figure it all out, what’s rebuilt will be better. What’s rebuilt will work better for more people.
Just like my own personal awakening, it’s a time of great change. When I’m out the other side, I’ll feel better, will have a more positive outlook on life, will have all sorts of energy, and life will flow with greater ease than ever. Until then, normal is gone.