This time of year is when we pause briefly in our busy lives to celebrate the birth of and to reconnect with what a radical dude known as Jesus taught. That we are all one. We are interconnected not only physically through interdependence, but energetically. We pause to focus on love, generosity, joy, and light.
I always loved Christmas growing up. The excitement and anticipation of what Santa Claus would bring, and the excitement of seeing family I only saw at holidays. Parties and singing Christmas carols with friends, and dressing up. Later, going out on my own, I created my own Christmas, whether I was sharing an apartment in Key West with four other people or on the other side of the globe on a ship.
Some of my favorite things about Christmas are the music and buying presents. I love finding that special something I know someone will love. Or making gifts. As a girl who never had much money, my local hobby shop provided everything I needed to make jewelry gifts, and when as an adult I had a microscopic business selling my photography, soaps and lip balms, those were also gifted at Christmas. I love hand-crafted and homemade.
When I was in high school, my mother, older brother, and I played the two church services on Christmas Eve. Vivaldi’s Gloria, Handel’s Messiah, and Christmas carols. Mom and I on our violins and brother on his trumpet accompanying the choir. As much as I sometimes found church services a bit boring back then and only went on Christmas and Easter, it was fun to play music. Because there wasn’t much time between the early evening service and the 11 pm service to get dinner, after Mom decided to pick up a pizza one year, it became a Christmas Eve tradition we carried on for several years. And one I’ve carried on with my family because my husband often works on Christmas Eve. It’s quick, easy, and delicious.
Every year, just after Thanksgiving I crank up Christmas music. No matter what’s going on in my life, this music always makes me feel good, or if I’m struggling, it soothes me. And I’m not biased regarding the type of Christmas music. Classic carols sung by Bing Crosby, new hits from Kelly Clarkson, songs from my childhood like the Chipmunks, or tunes from Jimmy Buffet that take me back to the days working on boats in Florida and the Bahamas. It isn’t Christmas until I’ve listened to Handel’s Messiah a few times or Vivaldi’s Gloria. And when I’m in the mood for something soothing, I tend to turn to Celtic music, or instrumental guitar or piano. As I write this, I’ve got my favorite Windham Hill Celtic Christmas album on.
When my son was little, we carried on the tradition of making Christmas cookies. Sugar cookies in all shapes, decorated with sprinkles and colored sugars. And making Chex party mix, small loaves of banana and pumpkin bread. My favorite Christmas tradition for a long time was making braided cardamom bread that my best friend’s mother made and always gave us. It was a sweet bread infused with crushed, fragrant cardamom seeds that was nirvana to me, and when I left home I took a copy of the recipe. Although food sensitivities and allergies have prevented me from eating it for the past several years, I still enjoy things infused with cardamom, like chai tea.
Gifts, music, food, and family. Getting together with friends and family. Reconnecting with people I haven’t seen in far too long is my favorite part of Christmas. But with the ongoing pandemic and my own private journey with Kundalini energy still making life in general quite challenging, staying in touch hasn’t been easy. Thankfully, we’ve got the internet and phones.
When life took a metaphysical turn a decade ago, it put me on a track of healing and becoming more and more aware that there’s more to life than the world I’d known my whole life. It put me on a track that brought all sorts of surprises, like experiences of Jesus himself. Once, I saw how he healed people with the energy of pure divine love blasting out of his heart chakra like a jet engine. Similar to using Reiki and Pranic Healing, he used the energy and his consciousness to raise people’s energetic frequency and to see them whole and healed.
Another time, when I was releasing a bunch of my own crud near the end of a hypnotic healing session, as I watched black sticky, tar-like sludge come out of my heart, all of a sudden Jesus appeared in front of me with his hands outstretched. He beckoned me to give the blackness to him. When I hesitated, he insisted that I give all of it to him. To not hold back any of it. He could handle it. He could very literally take it, and he did. Blew my mind!
Having been on a healing journey for just over a decade, I’ve realized that Jesus works with me to help heal my heart. He’s all about the heart. And the heart houses our primary connection to the Divine. There’s a tiny point within our heart that connects us to Source. To God. A connection we all have, but generally aren’t aware of. Yet when I was at a workshop a half dozen years ago, using guided meditation we were walked into and through that point (actually, I slid down a slide like I did when I was a kid – wee!) to the other side. Landing in the lap of Source I was shown that we are all connected. That we’re all one. I was shown it and the remembrance vibrated in every cell.
Through energy healing experiences I’ve not only seen how connected I am to people but in cases where I held onto painful memories, the vibration of pain has been dissolved. And I’ve learned I’m not innocent myself of causing hurt and pain in the world. All the negative emotions we hold onto, although part of the game of life, can be healed. And until we heal, pain tends to beget pain.
This time of year the veil between worlds gets thin. With such a large focus on things like Christmas, the recent winter solstice, and bringing light and love into the world, my inner world’s been vibrating with the energy of reconnection and forgiveness. The energy of opening my heart even more than it’s been opened and letting more things go.
With Kundalini energy shaking me and rattling things loose, sometimes inner shifts happen without my consciously intending to heal something. Sometimes, when I’m in a quiet, private space in contemplation, shit just happens – as it did a few days ago. Musing out loud into my voice recorder on the subject of Christ Consciousness, I unexpectedly talked myself into a deep inner shift and release. And what came up, as I felt my heart cracking and ripping open was all about forgiveness. Being forgiven for being human. Forgiving myself for all sorts of less than loving moments in my life when I took out my pain on others. (I’ll be posting more about it over at Remembering My Divinity).
This is what we do. We become emotionally triggered or are in a bad mood, blame it on someone else, spewing a rainbow of crud outward. It’s reflexive, learned, habituated, and can at times feel temporarily empowering to go off on someone. Temporarily! And the only way the cycle ends is through a forgiveness process. A process of connection between people. I’m talking real open-hearted connection. Or by creating inner reconnection. Healing.
The healing moment set me free. It wasn’t the first time I’ve experienced healing around the pain I’ve caused others, but this time it felt bigger – deeper – broader. What this healing has done for me in the past is allow me to quickly take ownership over my part in someone else’s pain. It’s made it easy to apologize on the spot instead of retreating for sometimes a few days, stuck in my own world of hurt. But the energy of the recent healing wasn’t only for me. It felt bigger, much bigger. Like it was for the entire planet. Like this is what Jesus wanted us all to know. Deep down in our bones, vibrating in every cell, type of knowing.
Jesus is an avatar for Christ Consciousness. The embodiment of Oneness. And he’s a master healer – all about connection and reconnection. Helping us make our way through the world, reminding us to live through our hearts. Christmas is his origin story and celebrates his life, what he taught when he walked in the world, and what he still teaches through all sorts of spiritual channels (just tune in through your heart!). It’s about coming together, helping each other, spending time feeling joyful, and practicing acts of gratitude. It’s a time to take a minute, slow down, and remember our core essence of love.
My Christmas wish for everyone is joy, abundance, health, and above all, peace.