I came to this world to do big things. But for years I never knew it. It wasn’t until my life began to take a walk on the wild/spiritual side that an inkling of my true life’s purpose began to emerge. And truth be told, I’m still figuring it out. Just when it seems like I’m in reach of “what I’m going to do” something big in my life changes and I’m off on another track. One day things will come together.
In the quiet of today, I’m thinking about Mom. The woman from whose loins I was birthed. And in whose house I grew, played, and first learned about life.
I’m tickled to notice one of my favorite mugs for tea is the same color as the mugs Mom so often drank her morning Sanka in. The sound of my spoon stirring echoing the sound I heard morning after morning. Her love of music became infused into me before I was even born as she played her violin, performing in concerts and rehearsing the very afternoon I was born. I even made the paper, sort of, with an article titled, “Violinist Drops Bow for Bassinet.” By the time I was three she took me to music classes for toddlers. Even though I haven’t played my violin since my early twenties, music will always flow through my veins.
Mom liked to get together and play music, and she also liked her quiet time. Time to sit and read and take a break from three kids. A child of the depression, having a garden was a must. Growing vegetables. Always vegetables. I prefer to grow fruit. Plant a blueberry bush and an apple tree and call it good. Truth be told, I’ve grown veggies and berries but my yard isn’t garden-friendly. And I’m not a fan of weeding.
We both love flowers in pots. Annuals for Mom. Annuals and a few perennials for me. Although my perennials bloom, they’re actually herbs. Lavender, rosemary, sage, peppermint, and oregano. I’ll never forget the peppermint patch we had behind the garage at our first house. It was big. And when I mowed and cut the edge of mint, it smelled like heaven.
Mom always had her charity work. She volunteered and gave to her community her whole adult life. And still, in her death part of her estate gives to charity in her name and will for decades to come. I too support causes.
It wasn’t until after I experienced a spiritual awakening that life purpose began to shift for me. I’d honestly never really thought about what my life purpose is. Born in the mid-sixties, I was raised to be a good wife and mother, and as such was trained in the domestic arts. That was my purpose for years. Yet because I was born in an era of big social upheaval when women’s roles underwent an overhaul, having not only a job, but a career became a possibility for me on top of being a good wife and mother. Yet, when I became a mother, my career at sea ended. And it was a choice I haven’t regretted.
As much as my focus has always been my family first, energy healing crept into my life and exploded when I experienced an unexpected spiritual awakening. My life took a metaphysical turn and has never looked back. That’s one bell you can’t un-ring.
Shortly after my father died and my mother’s mental health spiraled out of control, when she was in the hospital, I’d been listening to a weekly radio show of psychic Sara Wiseman. She always took callers and one day I decided to ask her why my mother was sometimes abusive toward me. She saw that the abuse wasn’t personal. It wasn’t entirely intentional. And the next time I sat and meditated, I should look back at my mother’s childhood because something happened.
I was quite new to meditation and was trying to develop a practice. Setting a timer for twenty minutes, I closed my eyes, sat up straight, and relaxed my body and mind as much as possible while focusing on a mantra. About five minutes in I suddenly remembered what Sara told me. Not knowing how to look at my mother’s childhood, I decided to imagine I was her at around four years old. Settling on that image, a scene suddenly came to me. I saw my mother’s mother get extremely upset with her and went off on her exactly the same way my mother sometimes went off on me. Holy shit!! Her mom did to her what she did to me! A moment later I saw my grandmother receiving the same treatment from her mother, and my great-grandmother receiving the same treatment from her mother. And it went back several generations.
It was a chain linking the generations. Holy shit! Once I saw it all, I focused on my heart and asked every metaphysical being I could think of to come in and heal it. Jesus, Archangel Raphael, and God. I sat there until I was suddenly overcome with emotion and cried as it all released. The chain was broken. It stopped with me. It was more than broken, it was entirely dissolved all the way back through the generations.
The next time I spoke with my mother, she was still in the hospital and still quite manic, primed to attack me, and I purposely pushed her buttons. Waiting for her to rail on me there was silence. Nothing. No attack. Just quiet. Holy shit!
She never attacked me ever again. The pattern of mother-daughter wounding that had been passed down through generations in my family was healed.
A few years later in a hypnotic healing session, working toward the nugget of what needed to be healed, I suddenly saw another energetic chain in my family. This time it was my father’s side. Something that had affected his and my relationship when I was very young was tied to his relationship with his father and his father’s father, on back several generations. The moment I realized I was healing another energetic pattern passed down through my family for generations, the first thought that passed through me was, “Shit! Not another one. How many of these are there and how many do I have to heal?” Which was immediately followed by amazement to not only see what triggered prostate cancer in the men in my family but to heal it. To set us all free.
I inherited some great things from my parents, like a keen mind and a love of music, reading, and writing, while quite unknowingly planning to have my life take a massive spiritual turn around the time some people have a midlife crisis. Who knew I’d grow up to help heal family karma? Energetic patterns carried down for generations have stopped with me. I’ve never heard anyone put that on a resume or in their five-year plan.
What’s funny is I never thought I’d do big things. It just wasn’t on my radar. Yet I seem to be able to heal things. To transmute them. And over the years it’s become easier to do as I’ve changed.
After the energy between my dad and I shifted and let go, I saw it dissolve between Dad and my grandfather and his father and so on. As the entire chain of energy was transmuted I suddenly felt like I was being hoisted upon these men’s shoulders as they cheered and held up pints of bitter. I heard music and felt like I was in a British pub being celebrated. Because I often felt like I was in the middle of a party at the end of my healing sessions, the festive mood and music were quite familiar, but I wondered why a pub? Then it struck me. Of course! Granddad had come over from England when he was just a boy. These men were British!
Every now and then I come across people in spiritual circles whose focus is to heal their ancestral lineage. My advice is to focus on your current life. Yes, use meditation, guided meditation, or hypnosis, or whatever modality you use. Spend your time and energy on yourself and your current relationships, and you never know when patterns affecting you now will be revealed as ancestral.