Soul Agreements

Before we come into this world, we meet with souls and create agreements with them. The souls of my parents agreed to be my parents. The souls of my brothers agreed to be my brothers. And several other souls agreed to have important roles in my life. Some of these roles would become long-term relationships and some, while not being long-term, would have an important impact on my life.

One of the souls who wasn’t in my life for very long, my daughter, played a significant role in my life. And I in hers. I was the portal through which she entered the world, allowing her to enter into another couple’s life and fulfill their dream of becoming parents. She fulfilled one of their dreams, and yes, she made agreements with a host of other souls.

Although many of our soul agreements bring loving and supportive relationships into our lives, there are some designed to work out or heal challenges we choose to take on. And we usually refer to these relationships as “complicated”. Yes, they’re complicated because we both love and at times either fear or hate them. Such was the case with two of my immediate family members.

I loved them and wanted their approval, support, and protection. In Mom’s case, once her mental illness was medicated, things greatly improved. But in my brother’s case, he never really changed and I see now that he won’t. The thing is, after healing from the dysfunction of these relationships (and yes, it’s a process that will probably continue until death) and learning a bit more about our soul agreements, I understand that I took them on to do some big-time healing.

In Mom’s case, during a meditation, I saw that her abusive treatment of me was repeating a pattern that had come down my maternal lineage for generations. And right after I saw the pattern, I sunk deeply into my heart and asked that it be healed. A few moments later I felt an inner shift, and before long, conversations with Mom let me know that the pattern was done. I was blown away.

In my brother’s case, the action of Kundalini energy pushed the healing of our relationship into overdrive. Although I’d already dissolved all sorts of painful emotions about the past, all attachment to him became dissolved during a spontaneous healing moment. When the thought, “I no longer want what I never had” bubbled up into my conscious mind, I was free. And even after that moment, I discovered during healing sessions that his soul and mine have incarnated together many times. Sometimes I played the role of a victim, such as this time around, but there were as many times when I was the perpetrator. It felt like we’ve taken turns “playing with power”.

The last time I saw this during a healing session, it felt like the lifetimes-long agreement of taking power away from each other (to provide opportunities to reclaim it) was completed when I stepped into my brother’s shoes and the H’oponopono prayer spontaneously arose from within, bringing me to tears of forgiveness and gratitude.

After reading a fellow blogger’s recent post about Satori, I began to wonder if any of my metaphysical experiences would be considered Satori, which according to the Zen Buddhism tradition is a sudden inexpressible feeling of inner understanding or enlightenment.

I suppose the more spontaneous healing moments that hit me pretty much out of the blue could be considered Satori. There’s always an “Aha Moment” component to them. But my spiritual awakening, in general, came in drips that became larger until a psychic reading from a woman became my initial awakening. Since then, I’ve come to know that not only have she and I had soul agreements as sisters in previous lives, but apparently, we made an agreement to come together in this life as well – an agreement she was aware of when I wasn’t.

She became my first spiritual mentor, teaching me about the world of spirit, largely based on her near-death experience, but also based on her life-long intuitive ability. Even before I was cracked open, if I wanted to know about the world of spirit, I was drawn to people who could sense it and those who’d died and come back. I’ve always been drawn to people with direct experience.

Although life has us on our own separate paths at the moment, my mentor and I will always have great love for each other.

Whether I spend mere days with a person who’s impacted my life, or decades, and whether our relationship has been predominantly uplifting or downright dysfunctional, I know that as souls, we enter into all manner of agreements because there is great love between us. There is an energetic bond. A connection.

Once we finish this life’s journey and cross back into the world of spirit, I know I’ll reconnect with these souls and compare notes. How did we do? Was our agreement fulfilled? Was I able to grow from the agreement we made if that was the plan? If not, what parameters should we change for next time?

I’ve got a feeling that after this life it might take a while before I’m interested in reincarnating again. But who knows?

I think Robert Frost put it best when he wrote at the end of Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening:

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.