Lately, I’ve been having some health challenges that lead me to wonder if I’m falling apart. After last summer’s broken foot, it became apparent that I have arthritis in both my knees, because after losing muscle tone in both legs and doing physical therapy to regain strength, my knees have been calling out to me – and not in good ways. After an x-ray on one knee, the meniscus (the cushion between the bones) showed up as torn, and that’s also when the doctor saw that pesky arthritis.
So, my wonderful physical therapist adjusted our plan of attack to strengthen the muscles that support the knee. And over the past few months my knees have been getting happier and happier.
Exhaustion has been a regular part of my life, and I brought it up to my doc (again). We had talked about this last spring and had planned to do a sleep study just when I broke my foot. So, 2 weeks ago, I did the sleep study and found out that I stop breathing about 76 times an hour throughout the night. Basically, my sleep is crap which is why I’m always tired. Any day now I’ll be getting my C-pap machine. Can’t wait!!
Then, about 2 months ago, I had some gastrointestinal distress. I thought it was because of some energy work I was doing, so I brushed it off. But it kept coming and going, and coming back again and again. Over the past 3-4 weeks it got worse, with ever-increasing trots (shits). I finally went to my doctor, and we did some tests with negative results. After that visit, things got even worse, and I could feel that my insides (and outsides) were getting pretty inflamed.
I wondered if the culprit was something I was eating, so we did a blood draw for a food sensitivity test (that I did 2 1/2 years ago, with positive results). I haven’t got those results yet, but I remembered one food that showed up on my previous test as slightly affecting me, but not enough to be considered a sensitivity. That food was eggs. I’ve been eating them just fine, but I stopped eating them just to see if it made a difference. Within 48 hours it was obvious that eggs were the culprit. It’s only been five days since I cut out eggs, but my system is worlds happier.
So, I was on my way to feeling good again when 3 days ago I threw out my back. Fortunately it’s just a muscle spasm and I haven’t totally destroyed the disc that I herniated 5 years ago. But it’s a big muscle and it’s damned miserable; spreading that misery down both legs.
And yesterday when I was walking very slowly around a store, all of a sudden one of my knees started to hurt. The one without the torn meniscus. WTF?? I was just walking slowly, gazing upon beautiful papers, and “Ouch!” As the day went on, my knee hurt more and more.
I swear, I am freaking falling apart. I can’t eat dairy or eggs. My back is a mess, as are my knees. And my sleep is crap. Welcome to the very late 40’s.
I got to thinking about how I seem to be falling apart, and then I wondered, what if I’m just rebuilding? I’ve read that the extra DNA that scientists like to call junk DNA is now activating. What if my body is becoming sensitive to certain foods to force me to change what I eat? To eat more healthfully? What if I’ve had to recover from injury to remind me that I have this physical body with all sorts of muscles that need to stay strong? And all of the regular physical therapy is to get me into a regular routine of getting back in touch with these muscles that need to be used more than just once in a blue moon. What if all of this breaking down is a ploy to get me back in shape?
I have definitely noticed that not being able to walk or pick up a stick of firewood has made me appreciate my body for when it could jog 3 miles and lift a 32 gallon trash can half filled with ice cubes. It has made me long for that strong, flexible body that I know I can have again in time.
So, am I falling apart or merely rebuilding? I choose the latter. I am very much aware that our bodies were originally designed to work perfectly, and are self-healing. It might take time, but I know I’ll get there eventually.