Child Wants to Stay Home from School

mariner2mother:

A few weeks ago, Little Man and I had a particularly difficult morning. I wrote about it here: Push Me Pull You. While I was struggling to deal with the situation, I decided to ask The Council for their wisdom. Bob and Cynthia have a blog that is full of people’s questions and the advice that Cynthia brings through from The Council to help these people reach a higher level of understanding. The Council came through for me on this one in a very big way.

Originally posted on Ask The Council:

This post is inspired by a question from Susan who asks if it’s more loving to let her son stay home from school when he doesn’t feel well or to force him to try to walk through his anxiety and go to school. Her son is a 12 year old sixth grader who she describes as very energetically sensitive, dyslexic, has ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), and sensory issues. Her son missed school on Friday and 15 minutes before going to school on Monday he developed a stomach ache. Susan is looking for guidance that will help her in situations like this. She’s concerned about his anxiety ruling him, but she also wants him to make it to the other side of his fears.

The Counsel says much of her son’s stress is related to remembering his past lives when he was abandoned, had no family, and couldn’t speak out. When he’s ready they suggest…

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Posted in Holistic Healing, Sensory Processing Disorder, Spirituality, The Voyage | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

Revisiting a Memorable Post: Reiki Attunement

Just for today, I will not worry.

Just for today, I will not be angry.

Just for today, I will do my work honestly.

Just for today, I will give thanks for my many blessings.

Just for today, I will show kindness to every living thing.

These are the Reiki principles as I learned them almost exactly 4 years ago. I took a day long class to learn about Reiki healing and to become attuned to it, after learning that a fellow blogger used Reiki to help her son sleep. At the time, my son had a lot of issues with sleep, and I was both desperate and very intrigued.

Inspired by another fellow blogger, Sara of The Practical Mystic, and her First Post Challenge, I decided to revisit one of my posts that brought back a memorable time in my life. For me, this event kicked off my spiritually “waking up.” As I wrote this post, I no idea what was to come: the changes and the magic.

Attunement As A Reiki Healer                               March 6, 2011

This past weekend, I received attunements to be a Reiki healer of the First Degree. For many of you, Reiki is a word you may have heard of, but don’t really know what it is. Well, in a nutshell, Reiki is energy that is the source of all life. It is the life force that is called many names, including Mana, Prana, Chi, and in Japan, Ki. A Reiki healer can channel the life force energy and “give Reiki” to another person.

As we are all made of energy, and energy is all around us, I believe that we are all connected, and everyone has the potential to be a healer of this nature. The attunements I received were initiations given by a Reiki Master. In receiving them, my body’s energy channels were opened and cleared of obstructions, so that I am now connected to the source of all universal Ki.

In becoming a Reiki healing practitioner, I learned how to lay my hand on, or just above, a person, and to channel Ki through me to them. Our bodies instinctively know how to heal themselves: think of when you are sick and get better, or have a cut and it heals itself. But, sometimes, for whatever reason, your body may need help, may need more of the life force energy, to heal. And this healing may have to do with physical, emotional, or spiritual dis-eases. This is where a Reiki practitioner can help.

As I laid my hands on fellow classmates, learning the hand positions on the body, my hands became very warm, and at times, even hot. This was the energy being transferred between us. They commented on feeling the heat, as well. The wonderful thing about our bodies is, because they know how to heal themselves, when this Ki comes in, the body uses it where it is most needed. For some, it may be physical healing, and for others, it may be emotional healing.

During the class, when we received our attunements, we each experienced them in a different way. Some people became very emotional, while others felt a little jolt pass down through their bodies. After I received my final attunements, I became very emotional, and the words, “Thank you God,” kept resonating over and over in my head. It’s very interesting to see how differently it affected each person.

More and more, Reiki is finding it’s way into the world of traditional medicine. Our teacher has been able to be with people receiving hospice, to help them finish unfinished business before they died. And transplant organs that receive Reiki, have a significantly lower rejection rate than those that don’t.

From now on, these abilities that were opened in me yesterday, are forever with me. I will leave you with the Reiki Principles as I was taught them.

Just for today, I will not worry.

Just for today, I will not be angry.

Just for today, I will do my work honestly.

Just for today, I will give thanks for my many blessings.

Just for today, I will show kindness to every living thing.

************************************************************

I invite you to share the link to one of your most memorable posts in the comments below.

Posted in Holistic Healing, Spirituality, The Voyage | Tagged , , , | 9 Comments

Push Me Pull You

I’m tip toeing through a minefield of Lego’s. One wrong move and it’s pain. Things were going great, until…

Ouch! I can’t. My stomach hurts. My head is all fuzzy and I can’t think straight.

Step 2. I prod, coax, ask. No pressure.

No. I can’t do it. It hurts. I can’t think.
Can I have some Reiki?

Ok Little Bunny. Relax. I’ll help you unwind this big knot in your tummy. Would you like a decongestant? No.

Better?

A little.

Do you think you can just try to go to school?

No.

Just try. Even if it’s for a little while. All you have to do is just sit there.

I can’t do it.

Yes you can – spoken with the most compassion I can muster.

I can’t think straight. I’m afraid. She’ll make me work. I can’t do it.

Sure you can…
Frustration wells up and then I push. You need to at least try going. Just for the first hour. You must go. Get your clothes back on! Put your shoes on!! Get going!!!

Tears. Anguish. Pain. I can’t do it. His feet are in cement.

Now!!!! Get. Your. Clothes. On!!!! Get in the car!!

Fear and pain eclipse his brain and torrents of tears come. I feel his torture. I can’t do this.

That which I resist persists, and in proportion to my resistance.

What am I doing? If I keep pushing, am I traumatizing him? Am I screwing him up (like my mother did to me)? If I give in am I letting him get away with something? Am I crippling him, allowing his anxiety to rule his brain? What will his teacher think, missing yet another day of school? What does she think of me, of him?

Fuck it. Fuck what anyone thinks. Today, the heart rules. I give.

Ok. You’ll just have to deal with it all tomorrow. I give up. It’s just not worth it.

And how was your Monday morning?

Posted in Mental Illness, Sensory Processing Disorder, The Voyage | Tagged , , , | 12 Comments

Hickory Ice

Looking through old files today, I found a few things I wrote years back when I was really struggling. Now I see that I was dealing with undiagnosed depression. This was written when Little Man was 17 months old; before he wore any labels of diagnoses.

May 10, 2004

On autopilot
Running… moving
Keep moving…don’t stop
If you stop, it will all fall down and crumble in a heap.

Like the adrenaline the day Little Man was born
Or was it the morphine?
Don’t think…just do…go

If I stop to try to make sense of it all
I won’t be able to get up and get going again
I’ll be mired in the mud.

Can’t think about the stress, the pressure
Can’t truly process it right now
Have to just get through…and deal with it later
Much later.

Hickory ice. If you stop, you fall in.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
You are the cow… pump, nurse, pump, bottle, pump
Try to get him to stop crying…go to sleep…please.
Every time I get up, the pain is so intense.

It feels like tearing inside
The incision is ripping inside
My heart is tearing

But I have to keep getting up…again and again.
He needs me
I need me

Over time things heal
The incision still hurts, but it’s better
My heart is better
But there will always be scars.

Posted in Mental Illness, Sensory Processing Disorder, The Voyage | Tagged , , , | 8 Comments

Shoot This! Connecting To Nature

My favorite way to connect to nature is with camera in hand. When I’m out and about, I’ll see something that speaks to me, that lights me up inside, and when it happens I have to capture that moment to share it with the world. Hoping to share that indescribable wow.

I first became enamored with taking pictures forty years ago, when I was ten and received a Polaroid Zip camera. These days, my cameras of choice are a Canon Powershot SX 280 HS that lives in my purse, for every day point and shoot moments, and my big gun, a Canon 70D.

Today was a perfect day to get out and shoot. I had no plans that couldn’t wait (laundry and cleaning), and the weather decided to change from buckets of rain and flooding to a beautifully clear and sunny day.  The first photo-op that caught my eye happened as I drove my son to school. To have to pass it by was a bit of torture, but I was home in a flash, and grabbed my camera.

Running out the door, I caught the backstays of the morning sun shining through our woods. There is something about crepuscular rays that always speaks to my heart.

Suns Rays

When Little Man saw this photo, he said, “It looks like God.” Love that.

After playing around with the fog and sun, I put on a camouflage jacket and my boots to head across the waterlogged field next door. Walking through the field I followed deer trails and side-stepped small rodent holes.

At the edge of the field is a row of young trees that serves as a buffer to a small river that is home to spawning salmon. This time of year, we have many bald eagles around, hunting for fish in the river and small animals in the field. Standing above the young trees are a handful old trees that make for excellent look-out perches for the eagles and other birds of prey.

neighboring field

There were a few eagles in the largest tree (one whose spirit is very old and majestic). I took a photo, walked closer, took another photo, and walked closer, waiting to see how close I could get before I spooked the eagles.

eagle in tree

I manage to get fairly close to this one before it flew off.

eagle in flight

eagle in flight 2

After the eagle left, I stood by the river, waiting for more to come by. It was a gloriously sunny day, and frankly, I was just grateful to be outside in sunshine. As I was standing there, filled with gratitude, I saw something floating down the river. Expecting to see a branch come around the bend, what I got instead was a great surprise.

ducks

A pair of merganser ducks!

merganser

A little while later, I could see that the eagles had moved to trees up the river, far enough from me that I wasn’t going to pursue them. Content with having been outside for almost 2 hours, and having a handful of potentially decent photos, I started making my way back across the field.

neighbors barn

A neighbor’s barn was looking particularly inviting. As I looked the other way, toward our place, the fog was hanging around in the shade.

view back up field

Most of the puddles from the recent rain were just that, puddles. But I came across one that was still partly frozen.

frozen puddle

As I walked up the driveway, our majestic bigleaf maple tree caught my attention. It’s mostly covered with moss, and ferns love to grow from the moss. When it has leaves, they grow over a foot across: hence the name bigleaf maple.

big leaf maple tree

The ferns especially favor the north side of the tree.

ferns on maple

A final walk down the yard to check out the large puddles left behind by the past several days’ rains yielded more inspiration.

tree reflection

Thus concluded my communing with nature… until Little Man came home, and we went out to the field together.

Posted in Photography, Spirituality, The Voyage | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

I Wasn’t Seeking Spirituality. It Found Me.

I was thinking, this morning, as I woke up to a dark and quiet house, that there have been times in my life when things have happened that have made a dramatic shift or change in my life.

I can look back and see turning points, forks in the road, and things that have been dropped in my lap. I see how with a dramatic change, my life can become tumultuous for a while, like a boat being tossed by an unexpected storm. And then, eventually, the winds and upset pass, leaving calm seas and perhaps a new normal in its wake.

These changes, even the good ones, are often uncomfortable because they upset the status quo that has become so comfortable and familiar. The time I met the man who would become my husband was one of these times. Becoming Reiki attuned was also one of these times. Deciding to go back to college as a full-time student to a school where I would not be able to be in the work force for 3 years, was also one of these turning points.

I have learned that we can plan our lives as much as we want, but we never know when the universe is going to drop something in our path that has the potential to very significantly change it.

The biggest unexpected surprise that crept up on me as much as it was dropped into my life, was Spirituality.  Let me tell you, there is no precursor for having spirituality enter your life. I did not grow up in a religious family. I have always had a mind that preferred logic and science to blind faith. But I had peeks and glimpses of it, perhaps setting me up for what was later to be put right into my face. I had a few incredible experiences in hypnosis sessions, including experiencing my highest self and being healed by an angel, before I even knew what a highest self even was.

And both of those experiences happened because I was trying to find a way to lose weight that would be permanent. By the time I decided to delve into hypnosis, I’d realized that dieting didn’t work for me. I would lose weight, only to gain it back and then some; over and over and over. I figured out that my emotional overeating was merely a symptom of some other dysfunction going on that I was using food (very unsuccessfully) to cope with.

The pursuit of weight loss led me to hypnosis, which, many years later would facilitate huge healing around my eating issues, and personal growth.

The pursuit of wanting to help my son led me to Reiki. Becoming Reiki attuned opened something in me that led to several synchronicities that blew me open spiritually like opening an over pressured bottle of champagne. I didn’t decide to seek Spirituality, it clubbed me over the head.

I can trace that moment back to a psychic reading I had from a very gifted woman. Knowing what I now know, it was planned for our paths to cross, and for her to remind me that I am a spiritual being; opening up, not a can of worms, but more like a beautiful glass jar of magic. She and I have been sisters in many lifetimes, and there is a bond between us that is hard to explain. We are connected.

The cool thing is that what I have been seeking is healing; healing from carrying extra pain, shame, and anger that had shown up as extra weight (as it does for so many people). But what came my way was unexpected, and has become so very much more. I have morphed into a spiritual being, creating amazing healing in my life.

I look for the meaning beneath or behind situations, feelings, and actions: both my own and that of others. Why? Because I’ve learned that we hide our truths there. And when our truths are brought out of darkness, we can shine light on them, examining them, feeling into them, and deciding if it’s time for a new truth to emerge.

In simple terms, our pain, suffering, and discomfort in life doesn’t have to be. We can change things. It’s just a matter of figuring out how. Where to look. Who to help us. Follow the bread crumbs by listening to what resonates with your heart. There are as many paths as there are people on the planet, and you will know if you’re on your path by the way it feels inside.

As 2014 has just come to a close and 2015 is now upon us, the universe recently brought me clarity to my life’s purpose. And this blog is a great platform for that purpose:  sharing my wisdom with people through connection on a deep and meaningful level, with the goal of inspiring others to help themselves – to facilitate their own healing. This is my New Year’s Resolution. That, and creating more magic in my own life.

Posted in Holistic Healing, Hypnosis, Spirituality, The Voyage | Tagged , , , , | 10 Comments

Pieces Lost and Found: A Guest Post

As we grow up and go through life, things happen to us to cause us pain, discomfort, and trauma. These things can be big, like losing a parent when you still very much need them to be around. Or, they can seem smaller, like being so very proud that you dressed yourself and fancied up your hair all by yourself, when you were four, only to be met with disdain from your mother because you messed up your room in the process, leaving clothes all over the place. And, you ruined her best lipstick, wanting to be more like mom. As life happens to us, little pieces of our soul can get left behind. To read about a Soul Retrieval Ceremony I participated in, and find out how this process helps us heal from life’s injuries, hop on over to my sweet friend, Liz’s blog, Big Body Beautiful. Liz is a bodacious, body loving, motorcycle riding, extraordinarily talented writer, who graciously allowed me to guest post to her blog. For those who are interested, the shamanic practitioner who performed the ceremony is Cadie Federmeyer of Heart of the Forest Acupuncture in Bellingham, WA.

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Remembering Mom: Christmas Eve 2014

I had forgotten that Christmas Eve day was the day my mother decided to exit this world, until my son reminded me a few weeks ago. I think he was worried about how I’d be on that day. He assumed it would be a sad day for me. And it is sad, but as I’ve thought about it, not for the reasons I’d expected. Most of all, I’m sad for what I wasn’t able to share with Mom: what I’ve learned about energy medicine.

Mom when she was a girl.

Mom when she was a girl.

Two years ago, I got up and went about my usual routine. I had just returned home from the grocery store when my cell phone rang. It was my mother’s caregiver. In a flash, I went from having a mother, to not. The rear door to my minivan was open and I sat down onto the back bumper, bawling.

Initially, my grief for losing my mother was just that: grief because the person who had spent the most time raising and caring for me, was gone. It was mixed with relief in not having to worry about her any longer; worry about how she was becoming senile, worry about her severely depressed state, worry about managing her care from 3000 miles away.

After a while, grief morphed into anger. Anger for all of the years she verbally attacked me when she was manic. Lots of old anger. I worked on that in my own way with forms of therapy that are most effective for me (working with psychics, energy healers, and hypnotherapy). Bucket loads of anger that had literally stowed away in my body, have been released.

And now when I look back with compassionate eyes, they are not clouded by so much pain. They are more clear. And what comes to me this year is the sadness for what might have been, had Mom discovered what I have come to know about energy healing and energy medicine: that it truly improves and has the potential to cure conditions and diseases that the current medical establishment tries to merely manage. Mental illnesses being the largest category.

Mom and me just before my younger brother was born.

Mom and me just before my younger brother was born.

Mom was on several medications by the time she reached her 70’s and 80’s, and it became more and more difficult for her doctor to find the right pill or combination of pills to help keep her out of the extremes of depression and mania, as her last year on this planet demonstrated. That year she was hospitalized for both extreme mania and extreme depression.

About the time Mom needed to be hospitalized for mania, I called an internet radio talk show hosted by a well-known west coast psychic, Sara Wiseman. I was able to get on the air with her and asked her why my mother would become verbally vicious toward me (and only me) when she was manic. Sara told me that Mom didn’t have an issue with me exactly, it was more of something at the energetic level between us. She saw that Mom had been wounded as a young girl of about 4 or 6 years old, and the next time I was going to meditate, I should go back to look at the time just before the wounding occurred. I did just that and facilitated a miracle.

From that day forth, for the rest of my mother’s life, when she was manic, she never attacked me (and I purposely provoked her just to see). A while later, I would learn that she also experienced some miraculous (unexplainable by the medical community) physical healing at the same time.

Since that time, I have learned even more about the amazing power of energy medicine, that it has the potential to create miracles every day. And the only reason they are deemed miracles is because we, as a society, are not taught about how to work with energy, about how disease and illness enter into our lives and bodies. We are not taught the connection between our minds, bodies and spirits.

We are taught that we are limited, and that we are less than. We are not taught to know that we are a spark of the divine energy that literally created each of us. We are first energy, and then manifested into physical form. We are not taught that we are amazing, and that our bodies were designed to heal, and to be healthy. We are not taught about soul contracts and life lessons, and that when we learn a life lesson, we can close a contract, or change it.

We don’t have to keep having the same bad relationship played out with partner after partner. We don’t have to struggle with our abundance, feeling poor in every way. We don’t have to bring arthritis, cancer, and heart disease into our lives in our later years (unless we’ve made an agreement to do so before we were born – and sometimes those agreements can be shifted).

If we have depression, it can be healed or very much improved. I have experienced this. If we have been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, it can be healed. I have done this. If we live with addictions, they can be healed, or at least drastically reduced. I have experienced this. If we develop things like thyroid problems or acid reflux, they can be healed. Working on it right now.

I’m sad because if my mother had lived to know the things I now know and had lived to witness what I’ve been able to accomplish, she might have decided to give it a try. And who knows? Instead of needing so much medication, she might have been able to drastically reduce it. She might have helped create a miracle. Or not. But at least the potential for it to happen would have existed. I’m sad because as much as I’ve learned to help myself, I wasn’t able to help her.

What I do know is that even though Mom is no longer here in her physical body, she is still around as an energetic being, and her journey continues. And yes, she knows what I’m up to. All I have to do is think of her and it brings her close to me again.

Mom 10 months before her death.

Mom 10 months before her death.

Posted in Energy Therapy, Holistic Healing, Mental Illness, Spirituality, The Voyage | Tagged , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Hopping on the Bandwagon: 10 Things I’m Grateful For in 2014

I’m a dedicated reader of Tales From The Motherland, so when Dawn challenge her readers to follow suit with her list of things she’s grateful for in 2014, I jumped on the bandwagon. However, instead of 50 or 60 things, my list is considerably shorter. I’m keeping it to ten.

This past year has been one of a lot of change for me, personally. It began with me doing physical therapy, regaining strength and mobility in my right foot, which had been both broken and had had a torn tendon (that was repaired with surgery). So, to start things off, the first thing I’m very grateful for is 1. the ability to walk without a scooter, crutch or a limp.

2. I’m thankful that I had a skilled surgeon who did what needed to be done.

3. I’m grateful for the skilled physical therapists who are right here in my little town.

4. I’m grateful that my naturopathic doctor left the practice in March, forcing me to see another doctor, who diagnosed me with diabetes. This might sound like a weird thing to be grateful for. But if that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have experience the miracle that unfolded over the next six months: experiencing release from food addiction, losing a ton of weight, and healing the diabetes. I no longer have diabetes.

5. I’m grateful for an awesome hypnotherapist who helped (and still helps) me to dig into my unconscious mind and ferret out old beliefs that were no longer serving me well.

6. I’m thankful for all of my spiritual teachers, in whatever form they have arrived, who have helped me understand at a much deeper level who I really am, why I am here, and how to attain more and more peace in my heart. What a beautiful journey it’s been and will continue to be.

7. I’m grateful for all of the things I have in my life and grateful to now recognize that it’s more than ok to release that which no longer serves me; whether it’s clothing that no longer fits, things I no longer use, or relationships that I’ve outgrown.

8. I’m grateful for a lot of things that keep me comfortable in my life, such as having a roof over my head (and as of this past summer, a new, non-leaking roof), a dependable car, running water (except when the power goes out), electricity (most of the time), and electronic connection to the outside world via telephone, television, and internet service.

9A. I’m grateful for the variety of experiences I have living where I live, including seeing bald eagles and a host of other birds and wildlife, being surrounded by woods and water (a river and a stream), having light traffic, and being only a half hour’s drive to the ocean.

9B. I’m very grateful to have this blog as an outlet to reach people and to share at as deep a level as I want. One of my goals in sharing is when something I’ve experienced or learned or realized helps someone else in some way. One of my life’s purposes is connecting at a heart level.

10. Finally, I’m most grateful for the people in my life: my friends (both those I know in real life, and those I’ve only met online), and my family. I’m grateful for all the love and support. I have to give a special nod to the one person who has, without a doubt, helped me to grow the most in every way, and that is my son, Little Man.

An old photo of Little Man.

An old photo of Little Man.

What are you grateful for this year? Are you overflowing with things to be grateful for, or is it a challenge to find one or two? Do tell.

Edited to add: Dawn’s post was sparked from a Jenny’s Lark post that was from a WP daily prompt of a ten minute free write. Beautifully written.

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A Letter To Little Man

WA fall foliage. Blueberry leaves.

WA fall foliage. Blueberry leaves.

Dear Little Man,

I’ve noticed that you are struggling quite a bit with school this year. I’ve noticed that you need to take an extra day (or two) after you’ve been sick to come back to feeling 100% before you are able to deal with going to school again.

With a heavier workload now that you’re in sixth grade, when you miss a day, it takes at least two days to get caught up; and that includes missing recesses and staying after school. And I know that for you, missing recess is like taking oxygen out of the air.

I understand that just being in school is a real trial for you at times. And I also understand that your brain likes to mess with you, pulling up thoughts that bring on anxiety, thoughts that make riding the bus in the morning intolerable. And thoughts that make thinking about going to school some days, very difficult. Add to this the beginnings of puberty, and I see you feeling insecure and unsure from time to time.

I also understand that a very loud message that you’ve received over and over from the school system, from the medical community, and even perhaps from me, is that there is something wrong with you. Your grades don’t show your brilliance, except for once in a very long while. And I know it can be very defeating. Schools aren’t designed for you. The medical community sees you as having disorders and dysfunctions, when it’s actually their lack of understanding and limited vision. And for many of your almost 12 years, I’d fallen under the spell and believed all these things.

I am so very sorry it’s taken me so long to wake up to the true brilliance that you are. I now know that you are an amazing creature that agreed with me to do this dance of mother and son (again). That you are created from divine perfection (as we all are), and that no matter what, everything is as it should be. You are perfectly imperfect. And your amazing skills that no school will ever appreciate, will carry you far in life. You came here to blow my life apart in the very best way and to make your mark on this world.

As your mother, I am honored and proud to be here for you. And I can’t wait to see you all grown up.

All my love,

Mom

PS. Your new Special Education teacher rocks. I’m working with her to make sure you get at least one recess every day, no matter what. But I can’t tell you about this until it’s a done deal.

Posted in Holistic Healing, Sensory Processing Disorder, Spirituality, The Voyage | Tagged , , , , , | 17 Comments