Sunset

I’ve been trying to write lately. To purge myself of the absolute insane goings on in the world, but my brain hasn’t been cooperating. Lately, my system has been a backed up sewer to the point where my emotions have been shit and my energy has been crap. I’ve been biting my tongue, wanting to shout “Get your head out of your ass!” to people on social media, and far too many tears are falling too often. The hate, gaslighting and ignorance has been too much. Recognizing the need for a pipe snake, I finally got a healing session in.

As much as healing happened, I’m simultaneously letting go of the old and integrating the new. And these days the process makes for a foggy head and a tired body for at least a few days. So instead of trying to craft something inspirational or profound, I’ll let Mother Nature do the talking. Here’s a recent sunset from a friend’s yard.

Posted in Photography | Tagged , | 11 Comments

Meditation and Healing

After seeing our nation’s Capitol building recently stormed by insurgents, I was left to ultimately deal with myself, as we all are. To heal the upheaval. And this is what came to me.

Remembering My Divinity

Quick note: I wrote this yesterday.

Today, the day after an attempted coup on my nation’s capital, we as a collective are a bit hungover. Yesterday, the amount of fear and anger that was stirred up, egged on by our narcissistic president, made for one shit-storm of a day. People were at odds about everything, while simultaneously trying to find rafts of safety to grab onto. Like minded individuals. I saw many people trying to respectfully disagree, while others tantrumed the day away. Torrents of vitrole rained down on every social media platform real-time as orphaned inner children by the millions were activated, crying out to be acknowledged.

I, myself, struggled at times to reign in my own strong emotions, wanting the protestors who’d broken into the Capitol building and stormed the halls of Congress to be taken down swiftly and completely. At this point it wasn’t about political parties…

View original post 536 more words

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Magic

It took a few days, but my word for the year finally arrived. Better late than never! Magic. My intention for the foreseeable future is to both create magic and have magic enter my life. And I want it to come in ways I never see coming.

One of the biggest lessons Archangel Michael has taught me is it’s not my job to know how things will happen. The how of things isn’t my purview. That’s for the unseen world to orchestrate.

Having participated in the world of inner alchemy, I know about fantastical journeys, watching things pop up revealing themselves that I wouldn’t have thought of in a million years, and witnessing miraculous healing. Magic.

Even though 2020 is over, 2021 still has and will have significant global challenges. Here’s to as much magic in 2021 as we allow, and then some.

Posted in inspiration | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Year’s End

As we near the end of one of the most challenging years of our times, I’d like to share some photos. Because I’m still deep in the trenches of going through an ultra challenging Kundalini awakening, I’ve been unable to gather up my camera equipment and head out specifically to take pictures. Not enough energy. This, in combination with the pandemic meant no trips over to our local daffodil or tulip fields in the spring. No summer vacation trip taking us across country or anywhere else.

However, even though my fancy camera hasn’t seem much action this past year, I keep a really nice point and shoot camera in my purse at all times, and use it a lot. All sorts of things catch my eye like pretty flowers, captivating sunsets, wildlife, and the moon. And my husband bought a game camera to capture wildlife in our yard.

For the past few months salmon have been back in our little river spawning and dying. And with the salmon come the eagles. Nature’s clean-up crew. We mostly see bald eagles in our area, and I’ve been photographing them frequently. The eagles with the dark plumage are juveniles as it takes up to about five years to mature into full color. Mother Nature gives the birds good camouflage until then.

Here’s a smattering of pictures from this past year, many taken very close to home. Enjoy.

May you be blessed with peace in your heart, and may everyone have a happy New Year.

Posted in Photography | Tagged , | 7 Comments

Merry Christmas

I love Christmas trees! And here are a few I’ve come across in my local travels.

At a local restaurant.

In a local office building.

Our new tree!

On one of our town’s streets.

Our town center.

May you all find peace and happiness this holiday season.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | 10 Comments

Healing from Loss by Suicide

Eight years ago today, Christmas Eve was an ordinary day of mothering my son, getting excited about Christmas, and having just returned from shopping when the unthinkable happened. With the rear hatch of my minivan open I answered my cell phone. It was my mother’s caregiver calling from across the country.

When she’d gone upstairs to call Mom to eat, there was no response. After 911, I was the next call. Mom had died. While the medics were tending to her they found a suicide note and several empty pill bottles. The note was cliché saying she was in a better place. It would take a while, but I eventually realized she was indeed in a better place.

Living a lifetime with mental illness, upon Dad’s death ten months prior, Mom’s medication no longer kept her moods in check. She spiraled up and then down necessitating two hospitalizations within seven months. It was evident that she couldn’t even begin to process Dad’s death. Along with uncontrolled Bipolar illness, I’d began to notice some dementia as well.

Three months after Mom died, I’d been thinking about doing some more hypnosis work and the Universe connected me with a soul-directed transpersonal hypnotherapist. She combined her experience as a therapist with hypnosis techniques and blended in spirituality for a powerful healing modality that fast-forwarded my healing journey.

Three years after Mom’s death, having merely a handful of hypnotherapy sessions a year, I was in a really good place not only with my mother having committed suicide, but with our complicated relationship in general.

As much as I felt that I’d healed pretty much everything possible with regards to my relationship with my mother, after Kundalini energy opened, facilitating healing at an entirely new level, I experienced a moment of even deeper understanding about my mother’s mental health challenges, and healed even more. It felt like the rest of our relationship was healed. Like any pre-birth agreements we’d made were completed.

Because I’m still going through a very steep ascension process, the past few years have been challenging in new ways, and I’m learning to walk my way through it all (with some excellent help).

However, this past year has brought new levels of challenge world-wide with the Coronavirus pandemic, and with unusually high levels of stress there’s been much more depression and anxiety in the world, and more suicides.

If you know someone who committed suicide and you’re struggling with processing it all, this beautiful article by Robert Schwartz, author of “Your Soul’s Plan” and “Your Soul’s Gift,” gives a perspective of suicide most people aren’t aware of, and it’s very healing.

The case discussed in the article is of a mother grieving the loss of her son by suicide.

 “ ‘Every suicide preventable by outside forces was indeed prevented.’ What he means is that if the suicidal person has the slightest openness to changing their mind, the Universe knows, and the Universe stages an intervention. It could be something as simple as a bird flying by and distracting the person, or something as dramatic as an angel assuming human form and physically interceding. If you have lost a loved one to suicide, know this: There was literally nothing you could have done to save them.

You are not to blame.

You are not at fault.

You did not fail them.

Therein rests your healing. Therein lies your peace.” (From Your Soul’s Gift, chapter 11).

And I know from personal experience that if a person’s journey in life isn’t done, their suicide attempt will be prevented. The fact that my mother’s suicide attempt was successful means her death was permitted. There was agreement with her soul and the greater Universe which allowed her life experience to end. And she was met with great love on the other side. She still exists; just not as a physical being right now.

With everything we’ve learned living through 2020, may 2021 be a year filled with as much grace and ease as possible.

If you’re in the USA and need help, the suicide prevention hotline is 800-273-8255. The Crisis Text Line website has numbers to text from the USA and Canada, the UK, and Ireland if you’re stressed out for any reason.

Posted in Holistic Healing, Mental Health, Spirituality, The Voyage | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

The Christmas Tree

Wanting to surprise me first thing last Friday morning, and because his father had asked him a few times, Little Man put up and decorated our Christmas tree. With the exception of one or two Christmases, since my hubby and I moved to the Pacific Northwest we’ve used an artificial Christmas tree. So, this would be Christmas number twenty-two since we bought it.

Hearing my iPad’s alarm go off Friday, I wrenched myself out of a Mariana Trench deep sleep, thinking it felt too early. As I grabbed the tablet to silence it I was confused to not see a choice of snooze or stop. Instead I saw that Little Man was calling me on the messenger app we use. It took a moment for the cobwebs to clear enough to answer the call as I glanced at the time. I still had another hour to sleep.

“Mom! I need some help. I put up the Christmas tree but it fell and I fell and I’m afraid to get up and step on broken glass.”

On autopilot I swung my legs off the bed, got up and made him wait while I made a quick pit stop. Once my eyes took in the scene in the living room, a handful of ornaments scattered about, the completely decorated tree lying on top of Little Man, I noticed one of the larger heavy glass ornaments still intact. Phew.

A few feet from the tree, glass from a shattered ball littered the floor. And Little Man was complaining about having landed on his tailbone. This, less than twenty-four hours after sharing that his back was feeling pretty good. He’d wrenched it badly in early October, and more than two months later he was finally out of pain.

The first thing that came to mind was how symbolic of 2020 this scene was. The dumpster fire for so many. Fortunately, not so much for my family. But between the political news and the world dealing with a pandemic and all it’s brought, 2020 wasn’t the year anyone expected.

Despite Little Man being in pain, I made him wait another two minutes while I grabbed my camera to immortalize the symbology of the moment. After getting a few photos, I picked up ornaments that were scattered on the floor. When I grabbed the tree trunk to lift it off Little Man the top section popped off. “Great,” I sarcastically moaned. I’d grabbed it a little too high. After finally lifting the tree a bit, Little Man scooted out from underneath. He sat on the rug until I swept and vacuumed up shards of glass.

Regaling me with what happened, once Little Man had the tree assembled and decorated, he noticed it was tipping to one side. As he righted it, the base disintegrated and the behemoth fell towards our guinea pig’s cage. Diving for the tree so it wouldn’t land on our pet, Little man grabbed it, losing his balance, going down with the tree on top of him.

With the first round of clean up completed, I was exhausted. My energy, although quite low these days, was lower than low, and I wasn’t up for undecorating the tree quite yet. Putting two and two together, I asked Little Man if he’d been up all night – he never gets up before me these days – and he had. Between the defeat of going through all the work to drag boxes and tubs out of our attic crawl space to get at the tree, and assembling and decorating it, only to have it break and crash, and the pain of landing on his tailbone, Little Man’s goose was cooked. He was done.

What surprised me through my tired and foggy head and a body that didn’t want to function, was excitement at the thought of buying a new tree. Yes! After a life well lived, our tree had worn out its usefulness and it was time to let it go.

We both crawled into bed for some much needed sleep, leaving the mess for later.

Later in the day we took each ornament off the tree, sharing some of their origin stories, putting them back in their storage box, finding two more casualties underneath. One was a gingerbread man Little Man had made in elementary school, it’s head mostly decapitated, that I repaired with glue. The other being a thin glass ornament we’d been given years ago by someone who’s no longer in my life as of this past year. How symbolic.

The next day we ventured out to find a new artificial tree. Less than two weeks before Christmas is absolutely not the time to shop for a fake tree. After looking around at a big box store that’s known for having a big selection of Christmas trees and decorations, we struck out. Then we headed to a nearby store a friend recommended. They still had several trees, ranging from traditional looking trees to one sided trees you put against the wall, and all sorts of funky colored and ultra-skinny trees.

As we honed in on more traditional trees and after gagging at the prices, we rounded a corner and saw the perfect tree. It wasn’t pre-lit so we could use our multicolored lights, and it was nice and full. And although it cost considerably more than our old tree, it was still affordable. Plus the assembly was easy peasy! Instead of having to put every branch on the trunk, they were hinged, folding for storage. Sweet!

Asking a nearby store employee where we could find section C-26 to grab a tree, he said they were out, but we could buy the floor model. Without batting an eye, I jumped. The lovely man helped us take it apart, put it in our cart, and helped us pick out a storage bag. Score! Got the last one!

With that, we brought our new and improved, and somewhat larger Christmas tree home. Merry Christmas and happy holidays to you!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | 4 Comments

Spirituality

When you think of spirituality or someone who is spiritual, what comes to mind? A monk, nun, or a priest, or some other person of the cloth? Or perhaps a yogi wearing a robe and a turban, who sports long hair and sits in meditation for hours a day? This is certainly one image of spirituality.

But something’s going on in the world. Something undeniable – at least from my perspective and many others. People around the planet are waking up spiritually. Their perception of life is changing. Many are are jumping onto the path of various forms of yoga and meditation, while others are on a healing path. And still others are learning that what’s always been natural and normal for them is their connection to spirit and a sense of inner knowing. They’ve always been “spiritual” and didn’t necessarily recognize it. I’ve always been able to tell when a person is lying or isn’t being authentic just by hearing them speak. Something about the tone of their voice. And I’ve always heard spirit guidance whisper to me quietly in my mind, but I didn’t know this was what it was. And honestly, I blew it off for decades.

With television shows like Montel Williams featuring people like psychic Sylvia Browne back around 2007 and 2008, people en mass were exposed to spiritual abilities like being psychic or being a medium. Today, a dozen years later, the cold reception Sylvia faced by many people is much warmer for the likes of psychics/mediums Allison DuBois, James Van Praagh, Theresa Caputo, Chip Coffey, Lisa Williams, and Tyler Henry. And with the internet and so very many platforms to share live and recorded interviews, many more spiritually talented people are able to put themselves out there to share their abilities with the world.

Not only are people who were born with abilities like clairvoyance and other spiritual abilities putting themselves out there publicly, but many are teaching people to recognize their own natural abilities and to grow them.

Today, anyone with an interest in the unseen world can read books, watch videos online, take classes, buy online courses, and develop their areas of interest. I’m lucky to have a spiritual center within commuting distance where I took several short classes in things like energy, energy healing, clairvoyance, and communicating with spirit.

In my own life, spirituality came to me not because I decided to seek it specifically, but because I was looking for things to help either myself or my son. Spirituality stealthily crept up on me, giving me teasers of experiences that I didn’t necessarily label as spiritual at the time. In fact, I remember coming home from a few hypnosis sessions talking about them like they were what an acid trip must be like. I can think of at least six experiences I had during hypnosis sessions that only years later could I label as spiritual or metaphysical.

Becoming spiritually awake was something that truly caught me by surprise, as can happen. I recently connected briefly with a woman who broke her tailbone, and it acted as the initiation for her Kundalini energy to open wide – which is an exceedingly difficult thing to experience when you have an awareness of what’s going on, never mind when you have no clue what’s happening to you (as was the case for this woman).

For me, my initial “spiritual awakening” was triggered by having a psychic reading almost a decade ago. The psychic became my first spiritual teacher/mentor, and she later told me I was ripe for the awakening. Waking up to the knowledge that there’s more to this world than we can know through our basic five senses happens differently for everyone. In my case, once I had proof positive (through this psychic reading) that there is something beyond this world, something deep within me woke up. It showed up as a burning desire to know everything about energy healing. Before I woke up, I’d been exposed to energy healing, but it wasn’t a huge interest in my life. After the awakening I was completely obsessed. Like a switch had been flipped.

For many, after going through an awakening, spending a lot of time in meditation and finding practices like yoga, qigong, and tai chi, become their path of continued awakening.

Although I’ve done a little yoga from time to time in my life and have done different forms of meditation over the years, my path has gone a bit differently. It’s been one of exploring several types of energy healing modalities until I found the one or two that work best for me: hypnotherapy and guided meditation.

Today, you might pass by a nondescript person walking through the grocery store and decide she’s a middle aged, overweight housewife who’s let herself go because she doesn’t color her hair or wear makeup, and she’s unfashionable and out of shape. You have no clue what’s going on inside her. You might see a man stocking shelves in a Target store and judge him all sorts of ways. And you might see a woman working in a school as an aide, a helper, and because she sometimes fumbles to get just the right word out, you probably judge her. You may actually have just seen a spiritual master or a master in training.

Today, spirituality wears many hats and looks like many things. From the more traditional eastern yogi and contemporary yoga teachers and their students, to the former church minister, near-death experiencer who now holds his weekly “Not Church” sessions online for those who seek spirituality and meaning through his evolved interpretation of religious texts, to the “ordinary” housewife and mother whose healing path led her to spiritual awareness and expansion she not only didn’t specifically seek, but levels of awareness that are lately blowing her mind.

After becoming obsessed with energy healing, studying, learning, and working with healers of all sorts, another major level of awakening completely broke me open in early 2017. It’s hard to explain, but my sense of self and self awareness completely changed during a healing session. It kicked off a process that’s been fueled by Kundalini energy burning and churning in my body every since. And recently, the energy I’ve known as Kundalini is even evolving into its next evolution.

Now I understand the earlier obsession with energy healing, as Kundalini energy’s purpose is to strip away things within us that don’t resonate with Oneness and self-authenticity. To date, my process has been a deep and very intense inner journey that has gradually changed how I see and experience the world. It’s been doing deep inner healing work, sometimes in meditation on my own, and more recently working with healers. It’s been a physical, mental and emotional process of healing lifetimes of fear, anger, grief, and other not so fun emotions. It’s been a process of reclaiming a sense of self that is connected to spirit and intuition. Reclaiming my inner authority, power, grace, and the connection to my higher self with its pipeline to endless creativity, knowledge, and love. Changing me from the inside out.

Today, even though I’m still very much “in process” I walk the world with a very different mindset. Although yes, I do feel the range of emotions we all feel, when I get angry, it usually passes through fairly quickly. A few emotions I really don’t experience these days are things like shame and judgment. Instead of being stuck seeing things one way, I see them through several perspectives. Instead of black and white, there are all sorts of shades of gray. And I acknowledge and honor information and messages I receive through my intuitive connection.

What that looks like in real world terms is having let go of the rest of the pain I carried courtesy of my complicated relationship with my now deceased mentally ill mother. And more recently letting go of not only pain and anger I felt toward another family member whose treatment toward me for much of the first seventeen years of my life was abusive, but having an epiphany that dissolved the desire to continue our relationship any further. Freedom.

For many people who seek spirituality, because the focus is on the unseen world, there can be a disconnect from the physical, here and now world. Some spend hours a day meditating because it feels great to be free and out of the body, using it as an escape. Or they read books upon books of spiritual wisdom without accessing their own inner wisdom.

One of the biggest gifts my latest state of awareness is giving me is the desire to feel human again. To appreciate what it is to be human. Normal (whatever that is). Regular. To reach my new normal full-time. To fully embody myself in the here and now physical world and to have the mental and physical energy to engage fully in life. I just want to feel connected to the feeling of “me” full-time again, because I’ll be honest: this process has been hella difficult and still isn’t a cakewalk.

From where I now sit, whether a person is knowingly spiritual or not really doesn’t matter because all of life is spiritual. Simply perceiving ourselves as physical human beings IS the current experience we’re having. Once we slip out of our bodies and leave them to break down into their elements, our self-awareness will still exist. And it will shift and change again. Big-time.

A universal desire everyone has is to feel good. To have a sense of inner contentedness and to feel safe and secure, valued, and loved. I think when people become spiritual seekers it’s these qualities they’re really looking for. And there are as many paths to get there as there are people in the world.

Posted in Holistic Healing, Kundalini, Spirituality, The Voyage | Tagged , , , | 24 Comments

Autumn Update

I’ve struggled to write lately, mostly because my mind is still heavily affected by my Kundalini awakening process. A process that is changing how I see and experience my world and the world at large. That said, life goes on.

September brought another year of educating my son at home: we’re going on four and a half years now. And between my struggling every day to function and my son’s various challenges, it hasn’t been an easy road. But we’re walking it the best we can.

He’s getting one on one tutoring for some of his subjects (courtesy of yours truly), while he’s learning other ones through a variety of computer apps and watching educational videos online. The biggest surprise came when Little Man announced that he wanted to learn Japanese. So I hooked him up with Rosetta Stone where he can move through the program without my help.

Having regular healing sessions is helping me move forward in my own inner process, and although working in hypnosis with a spiritual hypnotherapist is my preferred healing modality, because I can release lifetimes of crud in one session, I’m dabbling with a few other more local healers while my hypnotherapist is temporarily unavailable. And I’m very excited to have a session next week with a talented healer who’s new to me.

Where I’d normally be out and about with my camera, looking for fall foliage scenes to capture, still living with low energy has left me looking close to home for photo ops. Instead of grand vistas, I’m focusing closer. Most of our brilliant native colors come from twisty vine maple trees and blueberries. However, the pictures above are actually from some local bushes around a store I frequent.

In the mountains there are lots of wild low blueberry plants that are brilliant red this time of year. One of my favorite picturesque vistas is a hundred times more colorful this time of year. Here’s a shot from a few years back of the nearby Mount Shuksan.

The past ten days were a rare stretch of non-rainy days, and we took advantage of the weather break to get our long neglected woodpile in order. We now have enough wood to take us through the winter, especially considering we use our small wood stove insert mostly when temps drop to freezing and below, or when the power’s out.

Living in the boonies, we lose power a handful of times each winter, and then some. Even though we’ve got a generator so we don’t lose our food, our little wood stove is a Godsend that keeps us warm.

Not much else of note going on other than every other daily news pieces that keep my family and I shaking our heads. Happy belated Autumnal Equinox.

Posted in Random | Tagged , | 10 Comments

Trip To The Northeast

This gallery contains 3 photos.

Originally posted on Life Is A Journey… Not A Guided Tour:
Recently, I had a chance to fly from the Northwest to the Northeast and spend a few weeks by the ocean in Maine. This is one of my oldest…

More Galleries | 2 Comments