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Originally posted on Life Is A Journey… Not A Guided Tour:
Recently, I had a chance to fly from the Northwest to the Northeast and spend a few weeks by the ocean in Maine. This is one of my oldest…
Today has been a day of contemplating why we suffer. I know, a little heavy. But stay with me. Ever since I was about twelve or thirteen I had a song that played on repeat in my head, and the lyrics were, “I’m too fat.” Every time I felt like something was wrong, it was wrong with me. I was too fat. And the answer was to go on a diet. I joined my mother in diet after diet: the Mayo Clinic Diet, the grapefruit diet, the count calories for six days and have the seventh as a free day diet, and the diet plan I got from an actual diet doctor my mother took me to when I was about fifteen. If only I were thin and fit everything would be great. What a crock of shit.
I spent my teens, my twenties, and most of my thirties dieting, losing weight, and eventually gaining back all the weight and then some. All in all I’ve lost hundreds of pounds. And found them as well. I spent a lifetime of intermittent suffering that I thought was all about my being fat. Being fat was unacceptable.
In my mid-thirties I left the world of deep-sea shipping, moved across country to be with my sweetie, where I knew no one, and was out of work for the first time in my adult life. I’d hoped to find work in the world of small boating – my first love – but as summer turned into fall I was still out of work.
It was my first ultra dark and dreary winter in the Pacific Northwest, knowing no one, and having no paycheck. It was rough. This was back before the internet. I decided to study for and passed my First Officer ship’s license exams (for a license I knew I’d likely never use), and ate carb after carb after carb. Weight packed on and I briefly contemplated getting gatric bypass surgery. But I knew enough that even surgery wouldn’t stop my cravings. So, I decided to see if hypnosis would help me lose weight and actually keep it off.
The first hypnotherapist I worked with hadn’t had training specific for losing weight, but I had some success working with her, and my first metaphysical experience as well. My sweetie and I decided to join Weight Watchers together and I lost about forty-five pounds fairly easily. Eventually we bought a house, got married, suffered a devastating miscarriage, and had a preemie, each bringing new stressors into my life, and weight began to creep back on. My #1 coping mechanism to help numb my stress has always been food.
Somewhere in the few years between moving to the Pacific Northwest and having a lot of life and stress happen, I tried Weight Watchers a second time and couldn’t stick to the plan for more than a day or two. Something in me screamed “No!!!!” Something deep inside me put on the brakes and nothing I did changed it. I couldn’t diet for one more day.
The coping mechanism that I’d used my entire life, restricting food so I’d drop weight, was gone. I tried and tried and tried again to diet and just couldn’t. I began to gradually gain weight and it felt like it was out of my control. There’s not much worse than feeling like something in your life is beyond your control.
But the success I’d had using hypnosis was something that really worked when it came to eliminating food cravings. At least it worked until major new life stressors came along. It was like magic. Suddenly, I didn’t crave carbs, and I enjoyed going for a walk. It was wonderful while it lasted.
Over the past decade and a half I’ve explored using hypnosis to help me with this weight issue by taking a class learning how to write hypnosis scripts for weight loss, and by working with a handful of different hypnotherapists, and more recently spiritual hypnotherapists – all of whom have been great.
Along the way, I’ve worked with a diet doctor, a nutritionist, Weight Watchers, a therapist, and healers. I know all about nutrition and calories and a lot about the dynamics of overeating, and I’ve learned that my overeating has little to do with food and everything to do with numbing inner discomfort and its being a mechanism to keep pushing me forward in personal evolution.
Trying to force my issue away or deny it didn’t work. It kept popping up over and over. When willpower no longer worked, after years of managing my inner pain through all sorts of external means, I had to try something different. Drastically different.
Without even realizing I was doing it, I began to look within. I began to work with people who helped me change on the inside. I began to look for ways to help myself that were outside the box.
Hitting the wall forced me to try something different. Something very different. And the thing about having walked down a path of healing modalities, finding one in particular that works very well for me, is what I’ve learned along the way.
I’ve learned that as miserable as life can feel at times, the misery and suffering has a purpose, which is to move us. It’s to get us going in a different direction. It’s to present challenges to work our way through, giving us new experiences and opportunities to grow. Opportunities to find new tools. Not everyone chooses to grow, but for many we reach a stopping point when something inside lets us know it’s time to choose a different direction.
And the beauty of going through tough times and making it out the other side is taking your new understanding and being a beacon for someone else who’s going through tough times. Being their shining light, letting them know that yes, they can and will make it through. And things will be ok again. Pain and suffering will eventually dissipate.
Something I’ve realized over the last decade is that I love to learn. And not just any old thing. I love to learn about what makes people tick. Why they behave the way they do. And my very best teachers have been family members who’ve tried my patience and who’ve hurt me deeply. I know this sounds counter-intuitive but stay with me for a minute.
One of the more profound healings sessions I had about five years ago was an exploration and healing of moments in my young life when I felt disempowered. I lost my power. In hypnosis I was relaxed and asked to focus on the feeling of having my power taken (or something to that effect). When I was solidly connected with the feeling, I was guided to go back in time to the first time I felt this same feeling.
From there, I saw scenes of myself as a toddler wanting to do something and being forced to do something else. I can’t remember specifics at the moment, but it was likely something like being forced to stop playing and attend to something my mother wanted me to do. And later, as a teenager, having things done to me that I didn’t like. My will, my feeling of self-empowerment was broken.
My hypnotherapist walked me through a process of healing these parts of me who held feelings of disempowerment, and by the end of the hour long session I was a different person. It was amazing.
In my family, there were a few people who, because of their own insecurities, felt better when they could control me. Dominate me. With Mom, it was because she was mentally ill and wasn’t medicated until I was almost out of high school. When her mental health was balanced, she was self-confident and was a good mother. Unfortunately, when I was young and developing my own sense of self, mom was all over the place mentally and emotionally; her sense of self plummeted and she’d oscillate between becoming terribly depressed and delusional in mania. In both cases, she was very insecure, and when manic she’d try to bring back a sense of self-empowerment by controlling me: verbally lashing out at me.
Other than Mom, my older brother had issues of his own. The day he discovered feeling powerful by controlling me, he was hooked. Unfortunately for me, we were both very, very young. And try as I might, no matter how much I fought against him or complained to my mother, nothing changed. And unfortunately, as we grew up, his behavior moved from things like wrestling and trying to spit into my mouth when he had me pinned, to things sexual.
The more I protested, felt embarrassed and shameful, yet did my brother’s bidding, the more power he felt. The more power he wielded over me. The more he controlled and dominated me. It was a sick and twisted dynamic. And what most people don’t know is why someone like me didn’t just stand up to him. I did. Over and over again. I resisted and fought, and nothing changed. And once my will was broken, I was broken.
I learned to read people around me. I read my mother’s tone of voice. I read her state of mental health (or lack thereof) and learned how to survive. Either hide or do her bidding. Eventually, as a teenager I began to give back what I got.
The dynamic with my brother was a bit more twisted because as a child, I thought I caused his behavior. I thought I was doing something wrong to cause him to be mean to me, to dominate me. If I were more this way or that way, he’d like me and wouldn’t be mean to me. I kept wanting him to like me, to let me play with him and his friends, to accept me, support and validate me. This is how a child’s mind works.
I was like his little monkey continually jumping for the banana, not realizing that inside the pretty yellow peel was rotten fruit.
The things I saw during healing sessions taught me that when a person has a pattern of dominating another person, it’s because of feeling insecure and impotent inside. Total lack of self-worth and empowerment.
They end up causing in another what they’re feeling.
The Law of Attraction says we attract or create what we energetically emmanate. When powerlessness is our point of attraction, that’s what we create more of. In the case of my brother, in order for him to feel a sense of power, he’d control me and make me do things I didn’t want to do. But I did them because I wasn’t powerful enough to stop him. It was a vicious cycle.
As a young girl I grew up with low self-esteem and self-confidence. Growing up, going out on my own and getting away from my family, I was able to begin to develop a sense of power and confidence in myself. With Mom on medication, that relationship improved. But the wonky power dynamic between my brother and I kept up until I started to work on myself in my late thirties.
Therapy and healing work changed me. Bit by bit I changed on the inside. I met and healed parts of my wounded inner child. I brought back power, self-esteem, and self-confidence. In fact, I brought back so much of my own inner authority that I’ve recently been able to advocate for myself in a very big way.
After my parents died and left my brothers and me two properties, within the first year of joint ownership my older brother began to complain about finances and complain about this and that, regarding one of the properties. After a chat with older brother, he’d calm down and be ok until the next year. Complaints about the same things kept coming up and it got old fast.
Two summers ago, I experienced an inner healing shift so profound that it dissolved any and all desire to continue a relationship with my older brother. I finally no longer wanted what I never had – in the way of a loving and supportive older brother. I was left knowing that our relationship had run its course. I was done. Anger about the past was healed. The desire for him to change disappeared. All longing ache for him to be something he wasn’t, dissolved.
However, as long as we co-owned these properties I’d have to deal with this brother. So I decided to give up part of my inheritance (my share of one property) in exchange for his giving up his share of the property that was always so contentious. And a year ago, I shared my proposal with my brother and his wife. A simple swap that would involve a few signatures.
Long story short, they weren’t onboard with my proposal until I pointed out that I had the legal right to press criminal charges against my brother and sue him in civil court (and likely win). And even if I didn’t address his past in this way, I could blow up his life in other ways simply by telling mutal friends and co-workers about his secret past.
After months of putting my case forward to my brother and his wife; why I needed to separate from him and that it was going to happen my way, we reached an impass. They refused to hear me and tried a number of times to bully and control me, but with my new perspective and sense of empowerment, my boundaries were rock solid. I hired a lawyer.
After just over a year of working to separate myself from the brother who stole my sense of power, a true energy vampire, I’m finally free. Just the other week. We swapped shares of inherited properties and I’ll never have to see or speak to him again.
And THAT is how to take your power back!
Ever since Kundalini energy opened in my body like a tap cranked full-on, my life has been altered. Or should I say, my perception of life has been altered. I still live in the same place, pretty much have the same responsibilities, and my family hasn’t changed, other than Little Man growing and moving his way through high school.
For me, Kundalini energy has been like having a hurricane sweep through my house every few weeks, requiring me to purge what’s broken and no longer works. To clean up the muck and dirt, washing, sweeping, and mopping. And to refile reams of papers that have been blown all over. But my house is my body and the papers are my inner world. And it seems like no matter how many times I clean the windows, there’s still a haze of dirt that just won’t come off.
My “normal” is still gone.
As you might expect, constant cleaning up and clearing out, and getting a household back in order is exhausting. The thing is, a lot of Kundalini’s “work” on me tends to happen when my mind isn’t occupied with regular life: when I’m sleeping.
Mornings greet me with a head of fog so thick it would challenge the fog I met in the mountains of North Carolina once. I was driving and couldn’t see the lines on the side of the road and had to pull over. Unfortunately, a cup of strong tea has about as much effect on me as it would on an actual fog bank.
So life is still challenging. Some days I seem to find myself more and more present and functional as the day goes on and I participate in life. I’m not quite sure why the early hours are such a struggle.
The good news is all this cleaning and clearing is changing me from the inside out. My “house” is becoming more pristine and streamlined. And flows with greater and greater ease. Or it will. When I finally pop out the other side of this awakening process, life will feel very different.
The irony is, over the past few months the coronavirus pandemic is forcing everyone to live life differently. It’s come in unwelcomed and is making life hell for so many. It’s forcing changes so many people haven’t been looking for and is pushing everyone to find new ways of living. And it’s put many people into survival mode who previously were doing ok.
It’s also giving us opportunities to change systems that weren’t necessarily working very well anymore. Pushing us to find new ways to do business, to govern, and educate our children. It’s creating massive, very uncomfortable change. And in time, as we figure it all out, what’s rebuilt will be better. What’s rebuilt will work better for more people.
Just like my own personal awakening, it’s a time of great change. When I’m out the other side, I’ll feel better, will have a more positive outlook on life, will have all sorts of energy, and life will flow with greater ease than ever. Until then, normal is gone.
I’ve been getting back into the mode of watching interviews on YouTube of people who have some sort of spiritual gift. Either they’re psychic or have had a near-death experience, they connect with dead people or channel spirits. Recently, I watched a recent episode of Kevin Moore’s, The Moore Show, as he interviewed Sound Healer and Channel John Schulte and then asked questions of the Ascended Masters that John channels.
If you’re not familiar with what an Ascended Master is, they’re highly evolved, very wise beings who exist in non-physical form. And for people who’ve developed their ability to connect, Ascended Masters can be a source of wisdom and healing energy. A few examples are Jesus and Mother Mary. John brings through Melchizedek and Metatron. In some religions, these are referred to as Saints, and in my most recent healing session, Mother Mary came in to help me.
As much as I like to watch Kevin’s interviews, something I’ve noticed recently is that he loves to ask his guests about “the truth”. He’ll ask them what is the truth as if there’s one static overarching truth about life. I think what’s he’s actually asking about is spiritual truth.
When I experienced God a handful of years ago, I believe I came as close to experiencing “the truth” as anyone can. And what I experienced was a lot of things, including the knowledge that there was an absolute ton of information I will never be able to process or know while I’m still in physical form. Our brains filter it out in order for us to experience ourselves as human beings.
However, what I was able to grab onto as true for me, is that at some level we are all One. We are all facets of one diamond, drops of water from one ocean. We’re all separate channels of the same radio. I was shown what looked like a huge IMAX screen, floor to ceiling, that wrapped 360 degrees around me, with tons of squares of different scenes from all over the world. Animals in Africa doing their thing, people in various cities and towns all doing their things, volcanoes erupting, oceans waving, and more. As I watched all these separate beings and places, I sat in the lap of God who enveloped me with the feeling of pure and unconditional love. Simultaneously, the knowledge that we’re all One was dumped into my head and heart. While I was feeling as much love as I could handle (and tears streamed down my face), I knew it wasn’t even close to the amount of love God holds.
Until this day, I’d heard about this spiritual truth that we’re all One, and I tried to wrap my mind around it. Guess what? It’s not a mind game. It’s a heart game: the way into my metaphysical experience was through my heart. I was walked step by step through a guided meditation (that was part of a four-day workshop) where we entered our hearts.
What’s the truth? There is no one truth. It’s very subjective, depending on your beliefs, both conscious and unconscious. And it’s malleable. Our truth is based on our life experiences and how we perceive them.
For most of my life, my truths included that God is made up and isn’t real, life has no inherent meaning, life begins at birth and ends at death, and there are so many things we can’t change so why bother. And boy, have my truths changed!!
Healing work has changed how I see the world, how I feel about things, how I experience life, and most importantly it’s changed me (and still is). My truth has evolved again and again and is still evolving.
Enjoy watching Kevin ask Metatron and Melchizedek questions about life and about existence – and watch as his brain melts. I’m sharing the interview at the half-way mark because that’s where the channeling begins. But feel free to watch the video in its entirety to learn more about John Schulte. He’s got a great laugh, many talents, and a very open heart.
I don’t consider myself a good poet, but now and then I like to throw my hat into the ring. And having discovered a new blogger today, she led me to MTB: I am, The First Person Narrative and their poetry prompt. So, here goes!
Being The Best
I’m doing my very best
To be the best
Because anything less is unacceptable.
My adoring throngs
Prop me up with
Their love and approval.
And when fake news picks at me
And are just plain being mean
They’re big, bad, lying bullies.
Why don’t they like me?
They all have to like me,
Don’t they?
If you don’t do what I want
You’re trying to undermine me
And I can’t have it.
You’ll do what I want
You’ll do what I say
Or you’re gone.
Because I’m in charge.
Because I’m the President.
And I’m doing my best.
Perspective was from the wounded inner child.
Whether we know it or not, we always have beings in spirit looking out for us. Sending us love and other messages of support. They’re not allowed to interfere in our soul’s choices, but they hang around us for our highest good. They can head off bad things if our soul decides the bad thing doesn’t serve our highest interests. And conversely, if our soul made an agreement with another soul to have a relationship that would be painful for us, spirit won’t intervene. It’s up to us as human beings to follow our free will.
So how do we recognize the support of spirit when we can’t see, feel, or hear it? One of the easiest ways for them to get our attention is through synchronicity, seeing something repeated several times, or when we hear a song whose lyrics speak to us.
And sometimes seeing, hearing, or smelling something that suddenly reminds us of someone, like smelling the same perfume my mother used to wear, or hearing a song that reminds me of my father, connects us to their spirit. Finding things in unexpected places, like pennies, dimes, or feathers: objects who’ve been placed in our path by spirit, are messages of love.
A few weeks ago I had a healing session, and since then I keep seeing the same message.
While going through a lengthy and challenging process of separating from a family member who mistreated me while we were growing up, the Universe has been sending me messages of love and strength. As the process is winding to a close, the internal pressure of immanent disentanglement is bringing up a host of emotions, from impatience one day to anger the next, to the anticipation of sweet freedom that’s so close I can almost taste it.
At this point, I’ve done all I can do and it’s up to the family member and our legal representatives to finish the process.
It’s Sunday and as I write this I’ve been listening to inspirational talks online. I’ve been listening to one and then another when a video of Oprah came up called, “The One Person Oprah Could Not Forgive,” about her challenging relationship with her mother. It’s one of the things I have in common with Oprah, a challenging relationship with my mom. That and the food/weight thing.
Inspired to write about forgiveness yet again, I wanted first and foremost to talk about the concept of forgiveness. For most of us, we’re taught to forgive and forget when we’re very little. To say, “I’m sorry” after we’ve hurt someone’s feelings. We’re basically programmed. And sure, apologizing for hurting someone, letting them know you didn’t intend to hurt them, goes a long way to help them release their pain and move on, which makes us feel better, too.
Receiving a heart-felt apology for being hurt goes a long way. But what about when someone doesn’t apologize? What about when someone hurts your feelings or physically hurts you repeatedly and you just have to move on and live with it?
In this case, forgiveness is often misunderstood. People think forgiving someone means that you’re finally able to accept what happened and that what happened is now magically ok. And that it is forgotten. Not necessarily so.
In the video I was watching of Oprah, I like that she talked about forgiveness being the acceptance that the past couldn’t have been any different. That’s a biggie.
In my experience, forgiveness is healing my own inner pain. It’s healing my emotional triggers that keep coming up as I think about when someone hurt me. It’s being able to think about and talk about painful events or the pain in a particular relationship, without feeling the pain, the anger, the fear, or the sadness anymore. Forgiveness is separating and dissolving emotions from past memories.
And I can tell you from experience that true forgiveness only comes through the heart. You can’t will it into existence with your mind.
When I first used hypnosis to address food cravings back in the year 2000, I had no clue what lived beneath them. I had no idea the desire to eat certain foods was born out of deep, inner pain. No clue at all. All I knew was a pattern I’d developed and couldn’t stop.
When I was first regressed, my world changed. For the first time, I was able to connect an unmet emotional need, which I responded to by eating, with its root: my wounded inner child. Following feelings back in time to the first time I felt them, I saw an event from early in my childhood of my mother becoming upset with me and berating me severely. The hypnotherapist walked me through a process where I looked at the scene through my inner child’s eyes and felt and vocalized her upset feelings, and then I looked at the scene through my wise adult eyes. With adult wisdom, I recognized that at the time my mother was mentally ill, wasn’t medicated, and her behavior was not appropriate. However, as a toddler, I was acting very age-appropriately when mom went off on me. The problem was hers, not mine.
When my inner child was able to take in the new perspective, she suddenly realized she hadn’t done anything wrong other than act like a typical toddler who was beginning to exert her own independence. And she let go of the pain she’d been holding onto for over three decades. With my inner child healed, I noticed a decrease in food cravings.
Over the next twelve years of having hypnosis sessions once in a while, I’d meet many other parts of my wounded inner child who had created a host of beliefs that kept her stuck. Beliefs created through painful interactions with my mother. With each encounter, I helped my inner child address and heal beliefs, helping her see that she wasn’t defective: it was a belief she picked up from her mentally ill mother. And helping her see she wasn’t bad or broken or worthless. And bit by bit, my inner child has been healing.
Most of the healing work happened after my mother’s passing because it’s harder to heal when you still have to deal with the person who was abusive toward you. In my parents’ final few years, I was the one of my siblings who took on the role of caretaker. I was the one who, despite being the only one of us who was verbally abused by my mother, made sure she was being taken care of on a daily basis. An especially difficult job when her mental illness went off the charts after my father’s death. Especially difficult when I live on the opposite coast from my mother. But I did it. The dutiful daughter.
Within a few months of my mother’s death, the Universe conspired to introduce me to a hypnotherapist who blended spirituality with her hypnotherapy practice. Having taken about a three-year break from hypnotherapy and going through a spiritual awakening, I was ripe for working with this new hypnotherapist. And our four years together were magical. Anger and resentment toward my mother dissolved more and more, and my memories of her shifted to the good times.
I was able to remember her making us matching dresses and skirts when I was little, and playing our violins together. I remembered the fun we had going on a trip together when I was in my early twenties, and how proud she was of me when I became a mother to a child with special needs.
And eventually, the pain associated with my mother’s passing by suicide began to heal as well.
After Kundalini energy opened, my ability to heal deepened significantly. And one day, I had an experience of shifting something deep inside, letting go of the rest of the pain from my relationship with my mother. It felt like I could finally see through her eyes and understand what she was feeling every time she verbally abused me; and at the root of all of it was fear. All sorts of fear. The moment my heart accepted that my mother’s motivation was based in fear that was beyond her control, part of my inner world shifted and let go. My heart melted. Any residual anger and sadness dissolved.
It felt like the challenge of having a relationship with my mother was finally done. Letting it go felt like mission complete. All the anger and pain associated with our relationship dissolved. Vanished. Transmuted, so what began to flow again was love.
It was a magical moment that set me free. And that is what real forgiveness is. Setting yourself free. Letting go of stuck emotional pain. And it doesn’t have to be dependent on anyone else. You don’t need to hear, “I’m sorry” when forgiveness is an inside job.
Happy Solstice and welcome to summer. Here in the Pacific Northwest, we’re getting quite a mix of rainy days and sun. And all the plants absolutely love it! While my Kundalini journey goes on and life is still a bit challenging on a daily basis, the entire process is evolving. Having enough energy and focus to be able to get out and snap some photos is just what I’ve needed lately.
With what feels like the world on fire, to bring me back to myself I take photos. It’s one thing I can control and feel good about. So enjoy these random pictures from my yard and places around the area.
With safety measures in place because of COVID 19, instead of waiting in waiting rooms, I waited for an appointment outside enjoying this beautiful lavender and sage.
Our yard is well populated with a variety of wildlife. Here are just a few!
We’re a little over a half hour from the ocean, and last week I spent some time visiting two local parks, sitting by the sea for a while, between running errands. Smelling the salt air is just the ticket at times.
One of the things I love about this time of year are the wildflowers growing by the road. Daisies and fireweed are just blooming, and so are foxgloves.
We’re in that in between time when our rhododendron and lilac blooms have passed, and most of my other flowering plants are still in various forms of bud. The one plant that’s blooming like crazy is my rose. It’s a pretty little pink, amazingly fragrant rose. And it’s a favorite. Enjoy!
One of my favorite Intuitives, Lisa MW, who hears guides and beings in spirit so very clearly and whose intuitive advice is always practical, recently shared a channeling she did early last winter about staying sovereign in your own energy. In other words, being able to recognize when something is for you or not. For me, because it’s so easy to drop into my heart and feel what feels right, that’s what I’ve done for years. When my head and heart are battling it out, I defer to the wisdom coming through my heart because that’s our direct pipeline to Source and to our higher guidance. That’s where we tap into our own truth.
During the channeling, she tapped into divine energies of Archangel Michael, The Mary’s (Mother Mary and Mary Magdelene) and Prince. Yes, Prince. These days he’s a righteous spirit guide! And something Lisa brought through really resonated with me. Big time.
“Your guides never ever or divine beings or Prince or any of them ever want you to be in a supplicant position. Okay? Never.”
Yes!! This!! Something that’s bugged the crap out of me, and even more so since I became spiritually woke, is when religions teach that we need to supplicate or prostrate ourselves at the feet of God or saintly beings. Religious teachings so often reinforce the concept that we are less than and unworthy.
From my personal experience of God and from the spiritual perspective of life I hold, that’s the biggest bunch of crap, fed to the masses to keep them docile and under control. Now don’t get me wrong, religions try to get it right, but when man’s own judgment and ego fouls up how to interpret religious teachings, it makes me both angry and so very sad.
One thing I know for sure, without a doubt, is that God feels no judgment. That is a HUMAN quality created by our bodies (our brains, mostly) in order to perpetuate our human experience. We experience judgment as a survival mechanism, as a way to create fear to ensure physical survival. Because once we die, the experience our soul wanted to have through a physical life ends. The name of the game is to stay alive until our soul’s mission is complete.
One of the best teachings a person can embody is how incredibly valuable they are, simply because they exist.
Some of my more recent healing sessions have addressed this; connecting with parts of myself who became separated from the whole by beliefs of unworthiness and not being validated. During childhood, I created beliefs that became relegated to my subconscious mind.
In the eyes of God, we are equal. We are all equally valid. Our lives are all purposeful. Every single one of them with no exception. Even the person who is your tormentor, or the person who is a murderer and has no conscience has a valid purpose in life. I’m not saying their purpose isn’t to cause you pain, because it very well may be. Pain to encourage our growth.
Sometimes we feel insignificant and worthless because we don’t see our contribution to the world. Even someone who is homeless and begging in the street gives us opportunities to be compassionate.
In the eyes of spirit, we are each a thread of the grand tapestry of life. Some of us are blue, green, or gold, and others are smooth as silk or prickly as a blackberry cane. Our lives are all equally important.
Why don’t we know this? Why can’t we see this? Well, we grow up looking at life through our brain’s filters that only allow us (well, most of us) to focus on what we see, hear, touch, feel, taste, and smell. We’re taught to weigh and measure.
I can still remember squabbling with my brothers over making sure we each got an equal share of this or that. Gingerbread cake that was dessert. The last bit of icecream. Cookies from the tin. A turn riding in the front seat of the car. Heaven forbid if one us felt robbed of our share. Whines of, “It’s not fair!” would fill the air. “He got more than me! It’s my turn!” If you grew up with siblings, you’ve been there, done that.
And we weigh and measure relationships as well.
This same mindset stays with us our whole lives unless we challenge it, look at things differently, or heal the emotional upset beneath it all. As children we want things to be the same. We want the same amount that others get. We want what others have. And we learn that our value is tied to what we do, what we accomplish, how well we do things, and how we look.
When we grow up we want the same things that others have. We want the same advantages and opportunities as others have. And when we feel we don’t, we’ll always see a gap.
We’ll always see someone who has better clothes, a better car, a better home, a better life. That will be the focus. But the moment we’re able to let go of judgment, when we can stand in our own truth, looking through the eyes of our own sovereignty, everything changes. We begin to see things as “different” and as other people’s choices. Not as better or worse.
Spirit isn’t hung up on things being the same. In fact, change is the one constant in life and variety is the spice. What’s unique about us is the thing that sets us apart, that allows us to stand out from the crowd.
The moment we know we’re all equally valid and purposeful, it’s easy to take pride in our lives. Everyone has their niche, their style, their preferences, and their own personality. Everyone has their hopes, dreams, and desires, and a place in the world. And as similar as two people can be, even idential twins aren’t the same. Yet they’re equal, equally valid and valuable in the eyes of spirit, as is everyone.
If you want some guidance from spirit or are looking for some life or business coaching that is down to earth, check Lisa out! At the very least, subscribe to her newsletter. I’ve had a few readings from her and they’ve always been stellar.
