Reality Check

Ok, so I had all sorts of lofty ideas of raising my child’s teacher’s consciousness during the parent teacher conference we had yesterday. I have dreams of raising the consciousness of the whole school’s staff, on up to the principal. And it may take my son’s entire 7 years at that school to accomplish my goal- educating each teacher as they experience him.

Did I drive home the point of how awesome and how sensitive my Little Man is, to his teacher? I’m not sure. I tried to explain that with the way that he thinks, there are some days the thought of going to school pushes my kiddo over the edge. The teacher’s response was some thing to the effect of, “If you let him get away with that, he’ll keep doing it.” Right then and there, it was painfully obvious that she doesn’t fully understand Little Man, or the depths that his anguish reaches, all too often.

Even though he was having a very rough time, I was amazed that everything was spelled right!

I am torn between just giving him those days off, when he just can’t deal with school- lying to school, telling them he’s sick- and trying to draw a more complete picture of Little Man so that the teacher might really understand him. To understand the level of anxiety he reaches, and how he will turn it on himself, becoming self-destructive. But then, I wonder if she has the capacity to really understand what it is to live in a world where your senses are perceiving everything so very differently from everyone else’s senses. To live in a world where bouncing and jumping are not a luxury, they are totally necessary. To live in a world where walking out of the classroom door, means the possibility of having the big school bell on the wall over the door ring unexpectedly, hurting my son’s ears (as it has). Will she really get it?

Sensory seeking nirvana! Cuddled up with lots of soft things in a huge inflated ball.

What I was able to accomplish, was keeping a positive attitude. It is clear to my son’s teacher that he struggles and that he tries. I let her know that homework happens in the morning before school, because after a day of school, Little Man is fried. She understands that we do work with him at home, and she appreciates everyone’s effort. That’s her primary focus: that Little Man tries and puts forth his best effort. I think that for her to understand him better, I’m going to have to put words down on paper, to describe in great detail what it is to live with Sensory Processing Disorder; not only physically, but what it does to him psychologically. I will be more specific as to ways to motivate him, and what sorts of comments will crush him. Only after I have given it my best shot will I give up on trying to educate his teacher. For now, I haven’t given her all I’ve got! (said in my best Engineer Scotty- from Star Trek- voice).

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About mariner2mother

I'm a mother of a very spirited 14 year old son, and a former merchant ship's deck officer. To feed my creative side I take photos and make a very occasional batch of soap. I am also Reiki attuned and am a student of Energy Healing, having used several healing modalities to work on myself and my family.
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4 Responses to Reality Check

  1. Jodi says:

    From one Mama Bear to another I highly encourage giving the teacher very specific ideas of what will work and very specific cases of what does (or did) not. You mentioned in your previous post about announcing in front of the whole class that his attention had waivered when just a light touch on the shoulder would be enough. That exact action would have the same effect on my son, totally mortifying. I found this particular teacher to be very receptive to that but I did have to “spell it out”…..if you get my idea! And you will probably need to have the same conversation with every teacher coming up, because I know I did. You and I have different issues but I am amazed at how much we have in common!

    • Jodi, thank you so much for your input. And knowing that you’ve BTDT before me is so helpful. I am seriously thinking about writing up a quick Little Man 101 to pass on to each of his teachers as he goes up the grades. What works, and what will backfire in all sorts of bad ways. I’m glad to hear this teacher is receptive, and that will keep me encouraged to keep communicating. Thanks again!!

  2. Thank you for sharing this story and for your kind and thoughtful words.

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